think about, but it’s not just that. I think they have learned that
they can respect each other and get along. Maybe that’s not
strange. Maybe that’s what taking a step back can do. Maybe it
gives a person unique perspective.
I know it gave me some. I didn’t ask Steph to meet me
here. I wanted to text her. I tried. Probably hundreds of times.
I’d start, and every single time I’d trail off at just a few words.
I tried emailing her. I wrote her this big long draft trying to
explain how I felt, but then I deleted that too.
I have a feeling that she didn’t ask me here to blast me
for what happened almost a week ago. She has way too much
tact for that. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I am immature. Maybe
it is my age. Maybe I don’t know how to handle my emotions.
Maybe I’m not good at talking things out.
I used to be so hard on Mandy and John about that. At
least inside. I never said anything to my sister. I’d watch them
argue and then it would spiral out of control and most of the
time it would turn into a fight and I just couldn’t figure out
why someone couldn’t just stop. Why they couldn’t just ask
for some time to sort out their thoughts and feelings instead of
just yelling and screaming and not even hearing or considering
what the other person was trying to say. Getting mad only
made everything worse. You can’t hear. You can’t express
yourself. You just panic and get even angrier and that doesn’t
help anyone.
I feel like a massive hypocrite. I feel like I should
apologize to my sister for ever thinking that she and John just
couldn’t get it right. They weren’t the right fit, that was
obvious, but still. I thought they could just get along if they
tried harder.