The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

Spell out “Marry me?”

in millet on the vegan

carob muffin cake.

Buy a shelter dog.

Name it a combo of your

hyphenated names.

She asks you with a

note on your cat from your shared

Instagram account.

By replacing page

of Malm dresser instructions

with crude ring drawing.

On the back of your

Sleater-Kinney shirt, writes “Be

my Joey Ramone?”

HOW LESBIAN SEX WORKS

Lesbian sex has been confounding people since the dawn of cucumbers. What is it that two women do together in bed, when they’re not perfecting their cross-stitch or creating nonbinary safespaces in which to embrace their intersectionality? While the Serious Lesbian will tell you, “There’s no one right way that girls get it on, idiot,” I will tell you … the same thing. But in a far less judgmental way. Read on to learn the ins and outs of the ol’ in-and-out.

THE INS AND INS AND SOME OUTS OF LESBIAN SEX

Picture foreplay that

lasts more than a few minutes.

Now, add some crying.

Scissoring really

only appears in pornos

or in “Rock, paper…”

Scissoring is real!

We must take back the act from

porn. With me, Scisstors?!

Strap-on sex is fun,

until you realize you

don’t know when to stop.