two minutes of GAY.
Double your pleasure
Two periods, two
wet spots, and EIGHT HUNDRED TRACY
CHAPMAN ALBUMS.
Great ex-pectations
You are forever
waiting for the toaster that
you have been promised.
The difficult art of flirtation
To the wrong women:
you’re predatory. The right
ones: you’re TOO SUBTLE.
Fashion
People tell you that
you dress like you’re a ’90s
movie cameo.
Fashion, take two
You definitely
need to have that many beanies
in your wardrobe.
You look familiar
It’s like straight sex, but
replace “one”-night stand with “one
hundred and fourteen.”
Intrusive family members
No one ever says
that “you just haven’t met the
right ham sandwich yet!”
Your makeout music is the same music that plays when …