“Hi, Heather.”I waved as if she could see me.
Never in a million years did I ever think I would be here.
After Paxton and I returned to Charlotte after our week baecation, I moved in with him. We ended up staying three additional days, but I was so eager and anxious to start on this new chapter with him that I called Jalonie after my mind became clear after he proposed and asked if she could start boxing up my things. Of course, I bribed her with a nice monetary gift and then Paxton got on the phone and tripled my offer. Between her and the movers she hired all my things were packed and ready to be moved to my new home by the time we made it back.
Paxton and I went from the airport to his house where the movers were waiting to move in my things. I thought he’d give me some lip about bringing Pi, but he welcomed my bird. Jalonie asked what I was going to do with my house, and I asked if she wanted to move in or if I was going to look into renting it out if she didn’t want to. She was moved in within two days.
No one knew we were engaged or had moved in with each other except my sister. We wanted to tell our families at the same time and since his brothers, all of them including Quest, would be in town for their father’s birthday, we thought doing it that weekend would be perfect.
It was a magical surprise party.
Using the pictures from our engagement shoot and having our party planner use them as props all around our backyard, made the evening that much more special. We had a date and everything set. Booked our venue and had our colors picked out. I was not playing at all. I’ve been waiting on this day since freshman year. Dusting off my old fury dream book that I wrote down all of my life plans with Paxton was an emotional moment but a happy moment.
No matter the seasons we experienced together and apart, one thing was for certain – you can’t tear apart what is meant to be.
Which brings me to the present.
Visiting Heather’s grave felt needed weirdly. While moving our stuff into his house I came across a box of old pictures he put on the top shelf closet in his office. Yeah, I was totally snooping but he knew who he was marrying. Anyway, I was looking through the pictures and this one particular picture called out to me. It was a picture of her. Her smile beckoned me. Oddly enough I returned the gesture and smiled back. My misty brown eyes bore into her vibrant green eyes, and I knew what I had to do.
Clearing my throat, I continued. “Not sure if Paxton ever mentioned me. I guess there’s no reason for him to. I know I wouldn’t want my husband to talk about my ex.” Here I go rambling. The last thing I wanted to do was say some crazy stuff and she starts haunting me. I needed to make a note to stop by my mama’s house so she could sage and olive oil me down before I went home.
“At first, I hated you. Despised you. You had the man I never thought I’d have to walk this earth without. You married him first. I always thought I’d be his first and only wife. His first everything. Then he and I are back in the same space together after seven long years apart. When I looked into those sad eyes of the man I still loved, you were my first target. I hated what I didn’t understand and then when I did understand, I hated you more because, between you and God, I got my man back. But what I got back was a broken man. A man that hurt me. A man that I’ve been waiting seven years to bury alive and send his mama the obituary after the fact. Yeah.” I snorted wiping my eyes. “Ain’t nothing like a woman brokenhearted. I really wanted to do some damage to him but knew I’d regret it because I loved him too much to ever hurt him.
“My Pi. The Paxton I met in college is not the same man I have the blessing of falling in love with all over again. This Paxton, girl, whew. He takes my breath away effortlessly. I latched onto him as a newborn baby does to its mother's nipple. His pain and anger had the opposite effect. Instead of running me away, it enticed me. The hunger turned to greed to infatuation. Quickly, my hate for you became gratefulness because, under the pile of an angry troll, I knew the beauty that was about to come from those ashes.”
The hairs on the back of my neck raised and my breathing became shallow. I felt him. Paxton was here. Feeling his presence broke the shell of keeping an upper hand on my feelings. Blowing out a long breath, I finished. “As a woman I need…no, I want to affirm to you that I will go to the ends of the world in making sure he nor I take the blessing of God’s grace and mercy for granted. I vow to love him in sickness and in health. Vow to love him on our good days and love him harder on our bad days. I vow to cherish and never take his love for granted.”
Deep sobs formed as strong arms engulfed me. The accelerated beat of his heart gave me the extra courage to go on. “I vow to treat him with honor and respect. Be his strength when he is weak. His spiritual assessor when he can’t pray. His motivation and muse. I vow to protect and guard his heart. I vow to love him when he can’t find the means to love himself. I vow to make him happy.”
Tears slowly found their way down my cheeks as Paxton wrapped his body around me from behind and kissed a trail from my neck to my ear. “Baby…” The strain in his voice ricocheted through my chest. “Sassy…” He whispered into my hair. “Jacolby…my Jacolby. Turn around for me, baby.”
We made a slow effort to unwrap our bodies from one another. When I felt his heartbeat fall into a steady rhythm, I spun around and wrapped myself around him like a warm blanket. I opened my mouth to speak only to have my soul sucked out by his lips. Blood pounded in my brain, leaped from my heart, and made my knees tremble.
Goodness just snatch my whole being!
“I love you.” He declared against my lips.
“I love you too.” I laid my head on his chest facing the headstone. “Rest beautifully, Heather.”
Until my next release!