I lean across the stick shift and give her a hug. She’s as pokey as a bundle of sticks, and if she weren’t so stubborn, I’d think she was fragile. “Go on now. Go get those kids some supper.”
I wave Gran off, then head inside to make mac n cheese. Comfort food.
* * *
The daylight has slipped awaylike water down a drain. The loft is swathed in darkness and the kids are bundled up under the blankets on their beds. Shay is already asleep, curled in a ball, her breath even and quiet. Elijah stares at the cedar ceiling beams, his hands behind his head. I lay next to Tanner, the soap smell from his bedtime bath strong in my nose. I showered off too, so we’re all squeaky clean. He rests his head on my chest.
They’ve already had their bedtime story and said their prayers, but by the way Tanner holds onto my hand, I know he has something to say.
I lay quietly and wait for him to share. Tanner is like a clam with his emotions, the more you pry, the tighter he closes up. You just have to wait patiently and eventually he’ll open up on his own. Finally, he lifts his head from his pillow.
“I told Cody and Dale I had a new dad because they’re always teasing me that I don’t have one.”
I nod and don’t let my face betray how much his words hit me right in the chest.
Elijah sits up. “We do too have a dad.”
“But I don’t remember him. And he’s not around, is he?” Tanner glares at me, daring me to contradict.
I squeeze his hand. “That’s all true. But why would you lie? They all know you don’t have a new dad.”
He looks away. I wait for long, quiet minutes. Elijah falls asleep and snores softly, his mouth open. Tanner’s eyelids flutter and then he falls asleep too.
I brush his hair back from his head, then carefully pull my hand from his.
He won’t say why he’d lie, but I can imagine. After all, I’m not the only one with dreams.
* * *
Two nightslater I’m making liver and onions with Gran, the smell pungent and hanging in the air, when Diedre bangs on the door.
“What? What?” I use a hand towel to wave some of the smoke out of the kitchen.
The boys are out back working on another egg delivery contraption, and Shay is practicing jumping off the picnic table and landing on all fours.
Diedre raps on the door and frantically waves her arms.
“She’s drunker than a boiled owl.” Gran frowns at Diedre, all dressed up in tiny shorts and a sequin crop top.
“She is not.” I roll my eyes. I wave my towel at her to come in. “It’s unlocked!”
Diedre swings the door wide and storms in, stomping across the wood floor in her platform heels.
“Granny Allwright!” she calls, bringing in her vanilla and hairspray scent to mix with the liver.
“Diedre, you here for liver and onions?” Granny frowns at Diedre’s bare stomach. “You could use some more on the middle.”
Diedre snorts. “No. I can’t stand the stuff.”
Granny shakes her finger. “Just put some sop on it.”
Diedre cringes. “I already ate.” She won’t be distracted. “Jamie.” Her voice goes low and serious. “Have you heard the news?”
I frown at her and shake the skillet. “What news?”
Diedre’s eyes widen. “The six o’clock. The gossip hour.”
“We don’t listen to gossip.” Granny narrows her eyes. “And neither should you.”