Ari
WhenIbrokeinto the house where Shaw was staying, I didn’t expect to find him still up some time after two in the night. Even Shaw had a predictable pattern and he was usually in bed by ten. Eleven the latest if he felt particularly risqué.
The bedside lamp was on, casting a pale light across the room and Shaw’s frame sitting up in bed. Like he’d been expecting me. I closed the door silently behind me but hesitated. He’d watched the news. I knew that deep down in my gut and from the way he watched me warily. And what conclusion had he drawn? Did he now think I was crazy? Did he want to lock me up in an asylum?
The urge to flee hit me, but I forced my feet to move closer to the bed. Despite the insecurities in my head, I had to trust Shaw loved me and cared about me. That he would go to the extreme for me as I had done for him. For us. He would never put me away.
At the edge of the bed, I stopped. He still didn’t say anything. My hands shook as I reached for the hem of my shirt and tugged it over my head. He blinked rapidly twice. Encouraged by that movement, I kicked off my boots and pushed down my shorts and underwear, then slowly placed one knee on the bed.
“Aren’t you going to talk to me?” I asked.
He gave a small shake of his head. “I-I don’t know what’s there to say, Ari.”
I shuffled closer to him and straddled his lap. I nuzzled his neck. “How about a thank-you for the way I take care of you?”
“Do you?”
I drew back and peered up at him with a frown. “What do you mean?”
“When you killed Judd, were you thinking of taking care of me, or were you feeding your need for blood?”
My mouth downturned. “Why can’t it be both?”
“It’s one thing to kill him because the bastard deserved it, but it’s another for you to get off on it.”
I tried to keep down the giggle but didn’t quite achieve it. When it tumbled out, Shaw’s expression went stony. I clamped a hand over my mouth and took a deep breath to stave off more giggles. “I promise you I didn’t get off on Judd’s body. That’s why I’m here. I want to get off with you inside me.”
To demonstrate, I shifted my ass over his groin and placed both hands on his shoulders.
“There’s a lot we need to say before we think about sex again.”
“But I need it. We can talk about everything after.”
“I’m serious, Ari.”
I kissed him to shut him up. He could act all self-righteous and holier than thou all he wanted, but he wanted me to kill Judd. Now he acted as if I’d done something wrong because I ensured Judd suffered.
Deepening the kiss, I thrust my tongue between his lips, moaning and running my hands down his chest. He wasn’t responding. I pulled back, biting into my bottom lip, and my lungs constricted, making it difficult to breathe.
I hit Shaw in the chest. “Are you really going to reject me after everything I’ve done for us?”
“I am not rejecting you. I want us to talk.”
I doubled my fist and smacked him harder. “Go ahead and act all righteous. I told you what I was going to do to Judd, and you never once stopped me. You could have called the cops to warn them, but you never did. You could have warned Judd, but you didn’t. You wanted him to die, but you didn’t have the guts to do it yourself. So I did it for you.”
“Ari, stop it.”
“No!” I rolled away from him. “I fucking hate you for the way you’re looking at me right now. Like I’m someone you’re afraid of.” I gasped, scrambling off the bed while tears spilled down my cheeks. “Is that it? Are you afraid of me now?” I gave a bitter laugh. “Afraid that when you’re sleeping, I’ll lose my head and slit your throat, just to watch you bleed out on the bed sheets?”
“That’s oddly specific, but I’m not afraid of you.”
“Liar!”
“Keep your voice down, or you’ll wake everyone.”
“What? You don’t want your friends to know you’re harboring a criminal? Or you don’t want them to know you’re fucking your stepson?”
“You don’t keep your voice down, Ari, and I’ll—”