I Can Fix That

Chapter 31

Grant told me the letter on top was the most important, but I knew I would read all of these in one sitting. The stack was held together by a thin rope which I attempted to rip open with my bare hands and was unsuccessful. I grab a pair of scissors from the junk drawer beside me and cut through the tight rope excitedly. In my excitement, though, I caused the letters to fly all over my floor. They were scattered all throughout my kitchen and living room area, and the letter on top was nowhere to be found.

I whispered an irritated “Nooooo.” to myself and began picking them up. My hands filtered through the stack to see if I could find the one he placed on top, but none of them were labeled. So I decided I would read them all till I found the one with the latest date.

∞∞∞

J?u?n?e?,

Hart,

I’m not very good at this. Not sure if it’s cause I didn’t get to graduate or cause I am not good with expressing my feelings but either way I hope you can have it in your teacher’s heart to forgive me.

I miss you. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I even miss your little road games - which aren’t even games it’s just you saying a bunch of words. But God knows I needed that right now. Truth be told, I don’t know what to do here. I just drove 5 hours straight to get to Lily’s house and now that I’m here I feel lost. The thought of you being states away from me makes me sick. What makes me even more sick is the thought of anyone coming to offer you help to fix anything in the house. I made Beau promise me he would kick any dudes ass that tried anything.

I think you’d like Lil’s house. She’s got a bunch of colorful throw pillows and funky art hung up. You’d probably come in here and jump around at how much yellow there is on the walls.

I plan on writing to you as much as possible when I’m over here. It’s not much but it’s the only thing that will keep me sane till I can find myself to come home to you.

your fixer-upper.

Hart,

I was leaving a store with Lil today and I saw a bunny today that looked just like you. Maybe not just like you. But it had big eyes and it scrunched its nose up like you. Cute tail (although definitely not as nice as yours). I was close to taking him home with me just so I felt close to you but I suppose I’m not here for that.

Missing your cute little bunny ass.

your fixer-upper.

Hart,

Drank sugar free Vanilla Coke today. Definitely not as good as you say it is. But I’m glad to leave my R?e?f?i?g?r? r?e?f?r?e?d? fridge stocked for you.

Never not thinking of you.

your fixer-upper

Hart,

Lily convinced me to go to the beach with her today. I haven’t been since we were kids with mom and dad. It was…nice? Not sure what I was expecting. Can’t remember the last time I took a vacation.

Kept wishing you were there. I guess that’s the whole reason I’m here though right?

When we got there I saw a young couple with a baby in a stroller. You’d probably talk about how squishy it was. I’m working on it hart. I want to give you that one day.

Sending you all I have,

your fixer-upper

Hart,

Today is the first day I feel like I have a purpose for being here.

I drove around tonight, not for anything particular. Just drove till I was almost out of gas. I talked aloud the whole time - if you could believe it. One lady at a stoplight thought I was crazy I’m sure.

I talked to someone, not exactly sure who it was. Could have been God, maybe my parents, who could say? But for the first time in two years I sat and just talked.

I talked about you, I said everything that I was too damn scared to tell you in the first place. Looking back I realize how dumb I was to not tell you any of this when I had you in my arms. But it gives me hope to know maybe one day you’ll sit with me again and I will have the chance to fix all of this.