Her eyes are hard, her gaze intense as she watches me. Her shoulders are still tight, her chin tilted down slightly.
I rub my jaw and she follows the motion, her head tilting slightly before she turns away completely.
And suddenly everything makes sense. Her reaction to the abaron that night, the reason why she was so fucking out of it.
She’d been traumatized.
She’d survived the damn monster and yet it clearly tormented her.
I hadn’t survived it, it’d fucking killed me. So what did that mean for my future? Would I grow weary of hearing the monsters mentioned, going into a state of uselessness if I ever encountered another one.
No.
I’d already be feeling the effects if that were to happen.
I know for damn sure I don’t want to come across another one of the creatures. I’d become lucky when I came back from whatever death I’d subsumed to. There weren’t any chances it’d happen again. But I didn’t feel a paralyzing fear at the mention of them.
Something more had to have happened with Soskia to leave such a permanent imprint on her.
“Interesting,” I say.
Clemmen watches me and again, I note that she doesn't miss anything, which is both a good and dangerous thing. I know it’ll only be so long before she’s back to pestering me about what happened and I’m still not sure what to say about it. But a part of me wants someone to talk to about it, because I know that something has changed, I’m just not sure what.
That new energy sitting deep within my chest, the one that reacts strongly to the others, it’s my most concerning thing.
I’d considered calling my mom and talking to her about it, but she’d freak the fuck out if I tell her about my death and resurrection. She’s a last resort.
I climb to my feet, brushing my hands down the sides of my pants. “I’m tired, I’m going to rest up a little before my next class,” I tell Clemmen.
She nods. “Okay. We’ll talk later, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I agree before giving Zo a wave. Her focus is back on her phone but she peaks her head up long enough to wave at me.
I pick up my tray before heading out. I really do need a nap, because my moods aren’t the only thing that has been all over the place this week, but also my energy levels.
One moment I feel like I could run the whole word in less than a second without breaking a sweat, and in the next moment, just walking from the entrance of the dorm to my room feels like too much.
Even now, my legs are already starting to feel weak and my breathing is deepening slightly. Sighing, I pause, leaning against one of the lockers in the hall. The cool metal feels nice against my skin. I let my eyes fall closed and I’m not sure how long I remain that way until I’m suddenly aware of someone behind me.
My heart beats rapidly and that exhaustion seems to disappear as I whip around, coming face to face with Soskia.
Her glossy lips part into a thin ‘o’ as she takes a step away from me as if just realizing how damn close she’s standing.
I take my own step back, glaring at her. “Are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack?” I ask.
“From how still you were, I thought you were already dead again,” she says nonchalantly, leaning against the lockers now, her arms folded over her chest.
She’s wearing a pink tank top, one of the ones that cut down into a triangle at the bottom, it leaves the skin above her hips just barely visible. The white jeans she’s wearing mold to her body.
“Unfortunately, no.” I let my eyes sweep over her once more before taking a step back. We’re too close and I really don’t need that thrumming to cut into my thoughts as I face off with Soskia for the first time in a week. “What do you want?”
“For you to stop prying.” She gets straight to the point.
I lift a shoulder in a shrug. “I wasn’t aware that that was something I was doing.” I fold my own arms over my chest now.
Her lips twist, her face pinching. “You know what you’re doing, stop fucking lying.”
I shrug, delight moving through me when I see the irritation that pulls her face into a scowl. “As far as I’m concerned, I was having a conversation with my friend and you decided to eavesdrop. If you didn’t like what you heard, then that’s your problem.”