The thought is completely illogical, and I know it but the little slip up is already getting to me, bringing back all the doubt I’ve had since I got the kids.
Jesus, she could have run into the house of an axe-murderer instead of a chocolate strawberry wielding man.
I hold out a hand, shaking my head. “I’m fine,” I say, even though the words come out shaky.
“I’m not so sure,” Nathan says softly as his eyes flit over to Tanner and he lowers his voice. “Would you like to tell me what’s going on?” His words are gentle and the concern in his face is genuine, non-judging.
I shake my head, laughing bitterly, “No, I think I’ll save it for my therapist.” I stand, fully realizing that I’m sitting in a strangers’ house on the verge of a meltdown. I gently extract Lilly from his arms and try to ignore the light resistance I feel from her. “I’m so sorry about Lilly breaking into your home,” I try to joke but it falls flat. “Come on, Tanner.”
“You’re free to stay a while longer, I was just cooking lunch,” he gestures to the stove where there’s a couple of steaming pots. It smells delicious but I need to get back home to evaluate how I just completely lost a two year old.
“No, thank you,” I say quickly as a door along the back wall opens and Chase comes in. His brows wrinkle as he looks between us, but he must see the stress written across my face because he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he holds the recovered baseball out to Tanner who takes it with a thank you.
“Are you su-”
“Yes, I just needed Tanner’s ball and he has it, so we’re going to go. Again, I’m so sorry about my trespasser,” I tell him quickly before grabbing Tanner’s hand and pulling him through the house.
We pass by the third housemate and he’s still standing in the same spot with the dog at his feet. As I pass by him this time, I catch the familiar aroma of weed and I tug my lip in between my teeth, moving quicker. He says something to me, but I tune him out as I quickly retreat home.
When we make it into the house, I slam the door behind me and clutch Lilly tightly to my chest as Tanner looks at me with worried eyes.
Pull it together, Ivy, you’re stressing the kid out.
I take a deep breath and gently set Lilly on her feet, but I don’t take my eyes off of her as I pull my phone out of my pocket and quickly hit speed dial.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Patricia, think you got any open slots any time soon?”