Relapse

“If you want,” Emmet says, squinting slightly. “But if you don’t want to, that’s fine too.”

I’ve got to be losing my damn mind.“I…” My mouth suddenly feels dry and I can’t make words form.

“We know it’s weird,” Nathan says and I turn my gaze to him. He brushes a hand through his dark hair, his blue eyes watching me. “But we all talked about it and it’s okay with us.”

“I… I’m not looking for a relationship right now,” I finally say. Fuck, I shouldn’t have let this go on for as long as it has when I knew I couldn’t actually get involved with any of them. Yet, I’d let kisses that made my head spin and orgasms that made my knees weak cloud my judgement. “Especially not three of them.” I run a hand through my curly hair, tugging at the ends. “I’ve got the kids and I can’t create an environment that would make them uncomfortable if something were to happen.” That’s not what you were saying in the bathroom stall at the restaurant.

They exchange looks again and I wonder how in the hell they’re so in tune. “We can keep it light,” Chase says. “We don’t even have to label it, but we’re all interested in you and you seem to… maybe be interested in us. We know about the kids and we’d never put you or them in a situation that’d make you uncomfortable.”

I look up at him and find nothing but sincerity in his eyes. His usual playfulness and amusement is gone. My lips part slightly as I turn my gaze to Nathan. He’s the most serious of this group and looking at him now, I know that if I decide to jump into whatever this is, he’ll make sure that nothing but peace is between us, no matter the outcome.

I turn to Emmet, Mr. Calm, Cool, and Collected. The ends of his lips turn up into a smile and his eyes soften as he returns my gaze. The silver rings on his fingers shine as he reaches a hand across the table to me.

Take the risk.

The words shoot through my head as I debate on what to say next. They’re right, I do like all of them and not just the orgasms and kisses they’ve given me. I’ve found myself enjoying their company in a way that I never have with other humans unless we were getting high together and still, it was nothing like this. My mind goes to the kids and I realize they’re already ingrained in their lives and they’ve all shown nothing but care when it comes to them.

The old Ivy wouldn’t have thought about this for a second…. She would have jumped on it, probably have been the one to suggest it.

I stare at Emmet’s polished hand before looking at the serious, handsome faces in the room.

Just keep it label-less and keep your heart safe.

I place my fingers in Emmet’s and intertwine them. “Okay.”