I lift the gun in my hand, aiming right at Javier’s head. His eyes widen but it's too late as I squeeze the trigger three times in quick succession, hoping that just one at least hits its target.
His head snaps back, but I don't hit him in the head like I'd meant to, instead a bullet lands right in his throat and blood gushes from it even as he tries to bring a hand to it. His body sways to the side a moment before he hits the ground.
I don't move, keeping the gun aimed and pointed high as I stare on his body, watching as he writhes around before taking his last breath. The rest of the room goes silent and my body goes numb.
I don't take my eyes off of him even though I know he's dead.
"Winter," a familiar voice is saying my name and a hand is shaking my shoulder.
I turn my head, looking at Vito and finding him looking at me with wide eyes. His lips are moving but I can't hear what he's saying to me. My eyes move back to the dead body.
I killed him.
I killed him.
I.
Killed.
Him.
I've never taken a human life before. The closest I've ever gotten was myself and it was through pills, not a gunshot.
"Winter." Vito's voice pushes through my head again. "Winter, give me the gun," he says.
I turn, staring at him blankly.
"The gun, Winter," he repeats, watching me carefully.
I take a deep swallow before pointing the gun at the ground and holding it out to him. He quickly takes it from me and I watch as he switches the safety back on before tucking it into his back pocket. His hands move over my face and my jaw stings as he touches the place where Javier slapped me. His hands pause for a moment before drifting down, moving over my neck before gently twisting it from side to side.
I let my gaze move over the room, finding it less crowded than it was a moment before. No, not less crowded, I realise. A majority of the bodies are now on the floor. Dead. A few belong to Giovanni, but mostly they're the men who were in the room already, the ones who belonged to Javier.
Just thinking his name has my gaze turning back to him. A puddle of blood surrounds him, his lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling. His hands are flopped out to the side, uselessly.
Maybe... maybe he isn't dead. I don't even allow myself to be deluded into believing it for a moment. As much as I want to think that maybe he's just wounded, not dead, there's no way he survived me shooting him clean in the neck from close range. And plus, his body hasn't moved since I saw his chest heave one last time before stopping.
No, he's dead, and I killed him.
I'm a murderer.
Vito's hands are still running over my body and as he lifts my shirt slightly, I turn my attention back to him. His body is blocking my exposed skin from the rest of the room, but it doesn't matter, since the rest of Giovanni's men are making a point of not looking at me. I'm sure they have some type of orders to ignore me or something similar. Lucia is the only one who spares me a brief glance, her lips turned down.
Vito lets my shirt back down, his hands moving to my waist. His brows pull together as his hands stop at the button of my jeans. He doesn't move for a moment, only staring before his eyes snap up to mine. He searches my gaze for a few moments and I don't know what he's looking for but what he finds makes his frown deepen. His mouth opens before snapping shut and he shakes his head slightly before his hands start back roaming again, this time moving down my thighs and to my knees before dragging over my calves. I notice that a few times he squeezes slightly and when he gets to my feet, he twists my ankles to the side, rotating them around. It finally clicks in that he's searching for injuries.
But I don't have any serious physical injuries.
Yet I'm positive I'm going to have more than a few mental ones and I'm sure they'll be permanent.
Finally, he stops touching me, moving in close until his face is hovering over mine and he asks, "Are you okay?"
I only shake my head, my eyes moving over to the dead body. A sob racks my body and when Vito's arms wrap around me, my head falls down to his shoulder.
I'm barely aware of him lifting me up and him speaking to someone before I'm being loaded into the back of a car, my head propped into Vito's lap. I roll to the side, my eyes falling closed as a few last hot tears escape them before I lose consciousness.