“Mom came face to face with a mountain lion last winter,” Josh says. “Okay, we’re in. Who do we need to call for this?”
“You called him.” I smile and take out my phone, sending messages to my contacts. “I can have this all taken care of and up and running in a week.”
“Damn, you’re fast.”
“This is what I do. Do you think the royal family would be willing to wait a month to have their security put into place? Not likely. We can move on this, and maybe have a poacher on video by the end of next week.”
“Awesome. Thanks, Liam.” Josh shakes my hand. “I’d better go move some money so we can pay for this little investment. Zack, I’m headed out with the hands this afternoon to check the fences.”
Zack nods, and we watch Josh pick up his laptop and head inside.
“I’ll go get this in the works right away.” I shift from foot to foot, suddenly feeling unsure of my next moves.
“Appreciate it,” the other man says. “What else is on your mind?”
“What do you mean?”
He lifts a brow. “I wasn’t born yesterday. You have something going on in your head. Might as well talk about it.”
I cross my ankle over my opposite knee and sigh heavily.
“How did you manage to go through all the fucked-up things you did in the Army and then come out of it with this normal life? A wife and kids.”
He blinks, thinking it over. “I fucked up a lot, I’m not going to lie. When Seth was little, I was a shitty dad. I was never home. And his mom was a piece of shit, too. Thank God she dropped him off here, and Josh and Cara took care of him until I came home.”
“But you got it together.”
“Eventually.” He scratches his head and looks out at the horses grazing in the pasture. “Jillian is the best thing to ever happen in my life, and that’s a bold statement for a man who has several kids. I love my kids, Liam. And I think that as I get older, I’m getting better at being a dad. But Jilly saved me from myself. When you’ve seen the shit we’ve seen, the worst of mankind, the death…”
His eyes find mine, and I nod silently.
“You carry it with you. It never really goes away, Liam. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but it would be a lie. I still dream.”
I feel my eyes widen in surprise.
“Not as often as I used to, but they’re there. It helped to talk to Jillian about it, to let her in. Because all I was doing on my own was letting it rot me from the inside out.”
I swallow hard. Jesus, I can identify with every single word.
“And the trust issues?” He shakes his head and whistles through his teeth. “I was a bastard when it came to trust, and that was partly due to the Army, and partly because of the piece of trash I’d been married to. I didn’t think I deserved Jilly, to tell you the truth.”
I look down at my hands.
“You don’t either.”
“She’s a fucking princess.” I drag my hands through my hair. “Of course, I don’t deserve her.”
“Is that what she says?”
“No.”
“Look, this is none of my business, but you look like you could use some advice.”
“Yeah.” I lean in, ready to soak up every word Zack has to say.
“Don’t fuck up.”
I blink. “That’s it?”
“It’s the best advice you’ll get. I don’t know what to tell you about your relationship with Eleanor. But I remember the mess I made with Jilly. I hurt her, and the thought of it kills me. She didn’t do anything wrong, and I was too messed up in my head to not get in my own way. Do you care about her?”
The thought of Ellie’s sweet smile, her laugh, and her smart wit crosses my mind. I can’t even think about how incredible she is naked and writhing beneath me.
I don’t want to embarrass myself.
“Yeah, I care about her. But I already fucked up, Zack. I’m falling for a client. She’s my job.”
“You’re a man, not a fucking robot. Is she in danger because you can’t keep it in your pants?”
“No.” Fuck that. Her safety is my priority. “But she’s only here for a couple more weeks. Then she goes back to London and all of her responsibilities there, and I’m still here in Montana.”
“So, this is a short-term fling?”
Just the thought of that sets my teeth on edge. “It’s supposed to be.”
“But you don’t want it to be.”
“I can’t see a future for me with the royal family. I’m not just a commoner, I’m also a fucked-up dude who’s seen more death and destruction than any one person should. I’m full of scars.”
“We all have scars,” he says quietly. “Even your princess. We just wear them differently. And, for the record, wounds don’t make you unworthy of love. If she’s who you love, no matter her family tree, you don’t give up on that. Trust me. You’ll regret it forever if you do.”