“Fine. But if you find her, can you at least have her call me? I just want to talk to her and make sure she is okay.”
Relief fills Xander’s features. “I will do my best. I cannot guarantee anything though, as I don’t even know if the man I’m going to meet knows where your sister is. Benny could’ve been lying for all I know.”
That was the truth; he could’ve been. But from what I remember that night, Benny had told me I didn’t want to go with that man. I wonder if that man he called Ivan is the same person Xander is going to go and meet.
An image of my sister’s face as she was carried through that door appears in my mind right then. Despair, sadness. She looked like she was exhausted and, once again, I was just a little too late. And just like our parents had let us down, I was letting her down.
“Everything is going to be okay, Mouse.” Xander’s gentle voice enters my mind and I blink back to reality.
“That’s hard to believe when your sole purpose for living could possibly be dead.” Tears well in my eyes, threatening to escape.
“She’s not dead. That I can promise you. Will she wish she was dead when this entire ordeal ends? Maybe.” Xander is so close now that I can’t stop myself from leaning into his body, pressing my cheek to his chest, right over his erratic heartbeat.
“Do you think she’ll hate me?” The tears finally started to fall, and when I feel Xander’s huge hand against my back, holding me close, I release a ragged sob I wasn’t even aware I was holding in.
“Shhh. After all you’ve done for her, how could she?”
I don’t have an answer. All I know is that I let her down and the only way to make things right is to rescue her.
“I just want her to come home. I feel like I’ve let her down, and there isn’t anything that I can do to make myself feel differently.”
I wonder if Xander knows what it feels like to let someone down? He’s always followed through on his actions, killing anyone he has to, to protect his family. Moments like this, I wish I could be more like Xander.
“I hate it, but I have to go.” He pulls away from me, cupping me by my tear-stained cheeks, forcing me to look deep into his eyes. “I will do whatever I can to help your sister, and if I talk to her, I’ll be sure to let her know you’ve been looking for her this whole time.”
His words make me smile and warm my heart.
“Thank you,” I whisper, right as his lips descend on mine. He kisses me with a longing for more, so much more. He has been kind to me, showing me what it is like to be made love to, while giving me just a shred of pleasure mixed in with pain. He held me every night, making certain I was secure, safe.
When he finally pulls away, we are both breathless, my lips are swollen from our kiss, and his eyes are glazed over with need.
“Watch over Q while I am gone, and don’t even make an attempt to leave. I’ll have my men posted at every exit of the house, and believe me, Mouse, if you do happen to get out, I will find you and make certain you never see your sister again.”
I nod in understanding, knowing his words aren’t only a warning but the truth. I’m not going to run though. Xander has too much hanging over my head. He is the only one who can help me secure my sister’s safety and make sure she comes home.
“And when I get home, you’re all mine. Every fucking delicious inch of you.”
I gulp, his touch leaving me, making me feel cold all over. And with one last fleeting look, he’s gone, leaving me alone, with a thousand different emotions swirling deep inside me. I stand in place with my feet cemented to the floor for a long time, long after I hear the front door slam closed.
And as soon as he’s gone, I realize just how much I miss him.
***
I grip the edge of the toilet, the contents of my stomach emptying into the bowl for the third time in the last twenty-four hours. It’s been a long time since I was sick enough to puke… years. My throat burns, and my eyes water as I try to hold back the illness from escaping my body. The muscles in my stomach tighten… and I grip the rim of the toilet harder. The bile in my stomach burns a path of fire out of my throat and into the toilet once more.
As I cling to the toilet, my eyes roam over the box of tampons that sits neatly on the back of it. My periods were all over the place, which made tracking them hard. I was on birth control for a while but hadn’t been able to take my pills because of being held up in Xander’s house. That, and well, I never considered to ask if I should go back on the pill. I guess that kind of led us to the situation we were in now.