This place isn’t supposed to be a good, enjoyable, happy place. It’s not a vacation, its a fucking death sentence and I don’t know why the hell I’m trying to make it seem like anything other than that. I see her wince, as she hobbles back towards the mattress.
I clench my jaw. I shouldn’t care if she’s in pain. In fact I don’t…or at least I tell myself that, right up until I fucking open my mouth. “Are you okay?” I growl, simply because I don’t want to ask the question but I feel compelled too.
This woman represents everything I cannot have…and everything is bad about me and this damn world that I live in.
“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just cramps, sometimes they’re really bad.” She sits back down while holding a hand to her stomach. “It should be better tomorrow. Usually the first and second day are the worst for me and today is my second.”
“Where is that medicine I gave you?” My eyes scan the mattress but I don’t see the bottle. She reaches between the wall and the mattress, and hands it to me. I open the bottle and let one pill fall into my hand.
“Take it,” I order and hold it out to her.
“I really don’t want to. I’ll be fine, I swear. I have this every month you know.” Of course I know she is right. This is nothing she and every other women on the planet deal with this every month. Problem is none of my thoughts concerning her are rational.
“Take it and I stay until you go to sleep. Don’t take it and I leave now.”
She only thinks about it for two seconds before she takes the pill and washes it down with some water. I sit down next to her. She immediately scoots over to press her body against mine and leans her head against my arm. In a perfect world I know someone like her would never look at someone like me to protect them, to save them.
“Why me?” She whispers into the room. “Why did you have them kidnap me from that club?”
“I didn’t. I don’t know why they took you. I don’t usually deal with this part of the business. The girls that get selected have nothing to do with me.”
I don’t know why I tell her this. I know I shouldn’t. It doesn’t change anything.
“They called you boss.”
“I’m their boss… not the boss.” I crack my knuckles needing to do something with my hands before I run them through her silky hair.
She doesn’t ask any more questions after that and I’m so fucking glad that she doesn’t. Silence settles over us and the room seems so quiet. I look at the four white colored walls. There is no sunlight, or saving grace to this room. Everything about it makes me want to pick her up and carry her upstairs to my bedroom. She belongs in a bed. My bed.
No. The thought is irrational. She is not mine, and she never will be. There an internal battle taking place inside me and force once in my damn life I want to do the right thing.
I couldn’t save her…but I can save the tiny woman leaning against me. I listen waiting for her breathing to even out and once it does I listen a little longer before I get up very slowly leaving her on the mattress. I walk to the door and unlock it, it creaks loudly when I open it and I half expected her to wake back up at the noise since it’s so fucking loud but when she doesn’t, I remember what she said to me before. If she takes the pills then someone could come into her cell and take advantage of her and of course she wouldn’t be able to defend herself.
The thought makes me furious. Jesus fucking christ I feel like it’s a losing battle no matter what. I slam the door shut loudly while I’m still in the room and watch her closely.
Fucking great. Nothing. She doesn’t even stir at the loud noise vibrating off the walls of her cell. I told the guys not to come near her again but what if one of my men is stupid enough to go against my orders? It wouldn’t be the first fucking time. Every worse case scenario possible pops into my head. What if someone comes in here and she can’t do anything? What if they steal from her the only thing she has left to give?
The only reason she got away last time is because she fought them, I remember Luca’s face. He looked like a feral cat scratched his face… or a kitten. I look down at her motionless form. This time with the pain pills in her system there wouldn’t be any fighting. She won’t know what’s happened until it’s too late and I won’t be fucking responsible for that shit. I’ve got enough dark shit that hangs over my head…