Clutching my head in my hands, I bent over… I was angry with myself for feeling as if I wasn’t strong enough to do this. It was more than just a war with Mack or John. It was a war with myself. To be the man I needed to be or be the man she needed me to be. At the end of our story, I wasn’t sure we would live happily ever after.
I involuntarily kicked the table with my leg, anger and frustrations boiling over. I couldn’t do this. Never in a million years did I ever think I would be weak, that I, the King, would fall to his knees. When you live a life like mine, you know nothing but strength and power, and without either, I feel lesser than less.
With all my strength, I shoved from the sofa, my mind blazing with things I couldn’t control. Was loving her really making me weak, or was it me bringing myself down?
“You’re what you make of yourself, Alzerro…” My mother whispered in my ear as she ran her fingers through my hair.
I can’t do this, Mom. I can’t fucking do this… My chest was heaving, and as I whipped open the back door to run, I realized I had nowhere to go. I was that little boy again, trapped and afraid.
“You’re stronger than this, Figlio… You can do this. I believe in you.” Her voice was a mere whisper in my mind, rattling my heart so much so making me feel as if I would pass out at any point in time. Instead, I sunk to my knees in the back yard. The darkness encompassed me, and it was a welcoming feeling.
“Come on, Alzerro. We must be going now,” my mother yelled up the stairs. She was always telling me what to do. Sometimes I wore the wrong shoes or the tie I had on didn’t look good. She wanted me to be perfect… but for what?
“Mom, I don’t want to go,” I bellowed. Whining never did me any good anyway. Why I was trying it now, I didn’t know.
Looking me straight in the eyes, she smiled. It was breathtaking, beautiful in its own way.
“We all do lots of things we don’t want to, Alzerro. That’s the lesson in life. Sometimes things are hard, and it’s impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel,” she said adjusting my tie like I knew she would.
“But, once you reach the end of the tunnel, you can look back and say ‘that wasn’t so hard, now was it?’” she added.
I pondered what she said for a moment before asking my own questions… “Have you ever had to do something like that?”
Her head tipped to the side as she examined her work, and for a second, I thought she wouldn’t answer me. Then she bent down to my eye level and stared at me for a moment.
“We all have things we don’t want to do. I have done my fair share of things I never wanted to do, as has many of the people around you. There will come a time in your own life when you have to make choices and do things you don’t want to do. When the chance arises, grab it and hold on. You will come out a new person in the end.”
The memory spiraled out before I could finish my thought, and I came to my senses feeling the plush grass beneath my hands. Tears streaked down my face without will, and as I wiped them away, more appeared.
There was no other way around all of this. I knew in the end, the choice between Bree and I had already been made. The woman had my heart from the start, and I knew there was no going back. In the end, I would give up the Mafia for the woman I loved. Or die trying…
Mack
“Bree and I became well acquainted at the club before Alzerro had the chance to interrupt things,” Devon expressed in a delighted manner. His eyes were shining so bright, I knew the idea of getting his hands bloody was all he was thinking about. Aside from that though, she wasn’t with him, and that was a fucking problem.
“You had a chance to take her, and you didn’t?” I shouted, pounding my fist on the table. The bitch was right within our grasps and yet he had allowed her to slip away. He better have a good fucking reason.
“I have a plan, Mack. Let me worry about working it all out, and you worry about how you’re going to kill Alzerro.” The way he talked to me had me wanting to put a bullet through his head. I had to stop the impulse to pick up my gun and pull the trigger. The satisfaction of making Alzerro bleed would be well worth it though.
“Never talk back to me again, do you understand? I’m your boss now,” I growled, looking him straight in the eyes so he knew I was serious. I might need him breathing, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be injured.
“Yes, we’re clear,” he said, smoothly taking the seat across from me. My mind drifted back to Alzerro, my hate for him stirring the fire in my chest. I hated him with a passion nothing could rival. He had everything I didn’t; he took from me without a word, a simple thank you never passing his lips. Most would call it jealousy, but I was far from jealous. I didn’t want just what he had, I wanted so much more. I wanted the empire, the money, the authority, and once he was dead, it would all be mine.
“Did you decide when you’re bringing her?” I asked Devon again, wondering when he would tell me about this plan he was devising up.
He smiled smugly. “I had to do a little storytelling to Alzerro. He’s a bit shaken up with everything taking place. He killed John, Bree’s uncle…”
So, who cared? What was the point of being a ruthless killer if you had a heart? That alone is why I would make a better King to the empire than he.