Marcus came out to get me for lunch, and I went inside to eat with him, Ms. Mary, and Fran. Everyone seemed quiet, so I didn’t talk much either. Fran mentioned she needed to write up a list of cleaning supplies to be picked up from the store, and Marcus made us all laugh with stories about the new guy at the front gate. Ms. Mary seemed nervous about something, and Fran wouldn’t meet my eyes. Only Marcus seemed his normal self. After we ate, I started cleaning and preparing the fresh fruit Ms. Mary had bought from the farmers’ market.
I tried to stay focused on my job, and at dinnertime, when Jax still hadn’t returned to the gazebo, I agreed to a chess match with Mr. Greg. I’d put him off several times the past week because Jax had always been waiting on me. Although I seemed to be getting better, and had even won a few matches recently, today Mr. Greg won because my mind stayed on Jax. I let the older man gloat, and I smiled at his teasing, and then went inside to the kitchen.
Marcus stood over by the table with a tray of food. He smiled at me. “Hey you. Who won the chess game? I saw you two hard at it when I came in.”
I smiled and shrugged. “He did. I was off my game tonight.”
Marcus frowned and sighed. “Yeah, I can understand. You two have been inseparable lately. I can see why her arrival would bother you.”
His words startled me. “What do you mean? Her who?”
Marcus darted his eyes at Ms. Mary who made a “tsking” sound, but kept her back to the both of us.
“Uh, sorry, I thought you knew. I, um….” He paused and shuffled his feet like he would rather leave the room.
Ms. Mary let out a sigh. “Go ahead and get it out, boy. You done let the cat out of the bag. Don’t leave her to wonder.”
Marcus nodded and said to me, “I don’t know how much of the celebrity stuff you read, but Star Holloway, the Pop Princess, and Jax have been an item for awhile now. Even before he came here this summer. She flew in on his private jet this afternoon and is staying the night before she heads back out to finish her tour.”
My knees went weak.
“Now, don’t go making it sound worse than it is, boy,” Ms. Mary scolded. “I believe she is just a friend of Master Jax. The way he has been following you around like a puppy dog, I can’t fathom he has another girl on the side.”
I couldn’t form words. I stared at Marcus, who shrugged. I didn't know what to say or what to think. I needed time alone, so I headed to the laundry to change. The idea that Jax had a pop star girlfriend didn’t make sense to me. He’d never spoke of her before. I didn’t think Marcus would lie to me. Star Holloway was in this house, and she also happened to be the reason Jax never came back. It hurt that he never took the time to explain. But then again, what could he tell his guest, “Excuse me, but I need to go tell the kitchen help you’re here and I won’t be coming back to see her today?” I mean, really this situation would be hard to grasp for someone in his world. I took a deep breath and reminded myself I knew all along a relationship with him was impossible. He was a rock star, and I worked in his kitchen and his garden. I walked right into a situation with no happy ending, and I knew it, but took that road anyway, just because a pair of steel blue eyes made my heart race, and a boyish grin made me melt. Stupid might be too kind of a word for me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stepped out of the laundry.
I walked past Ms. Mary, who stood wringing her hands waiting for me. “I knew you was gonna get hurt,” she said with worry in her voice.
I bit my bottom lip, still not trusting myself to speak.
“You wait, now, on Marcus. He’ll take you home.”
The thought of having to talk to Marcus, and waiting at the house any longer while Jax sat in the dining room with a Pop Princess, who for obvious reasons made a much better match for him than I did, panicked me. I needed to escape. I swallowed again and said to Ms. Mary, “I’m fine, but I want to go home now. I’ll see you in the morning. A bike ride is just what I need.”
I smiled, but it didn't reach my eyes. Ms. Mary frowned and reminded me to be careful. I headed home as quickly as I could. The further away I got, the harder it seemed to return. The thought of going back hurt so badly I wasn’t sure I could do it. I’m only so strong; I have a breaking point. I’d asked for this when I agreed to this thing with Jax. I’d allowed myself to be dazzled by his good looks and charming personality. His intense eyes and boyish grin somehow made me stupid and careless. I needed protection from myself. The horrifying thought that I might be like my mother hit me, and tears burned my eyes.
I stopped at the public beach. A walk would help calm me down before I went home to face Jessica. Amanda started coming down from the lifeguard stand. When she saw me, she shot her carefree, bubbly grin at me.
“Sadie! I called you just this morning, but I didn't get an answer. I left a message though. So, are you coming?”
I’d forgotten about the party. “Um, sure, I’ll come.”
She appeared genuinely happy. I couldn’t figure out why this nice, cheerful girl seemed so anxious to be my friend.
“About the lifeguarding job. How much does it pay?”
She beamed at me again, apparently thrilled at the idea of my being a lifeguard. “Twelve dollars an hour, and you get the benefits of being on the beach all day!”
That was good money. Not as much as I made now, but close enough. “All right, if I were interested, what would I need to do?”
She grabbed my hand and led me over to the building located off the boardwalk, with bathrooms, a beach bar and some offices. “You need to go in there and see Jerry in the morning. He can give you all your info. There is endurance training and a few days of classes. Depending on how well you do is how long it takes. But Cherry just quit last week, and we are short a lifeguard, so now is a good time to go see him.”
I nodded and tucked the information away. “Thanks, I will see you tomorrow night then.”
Amanda smiled brightly. “Cool, see ya.”
I turned and walked down the beach. I’d worn shorts and a blue tank top, but the evening breeze still held the day’s warmth, so it didn’t matter. I walked to the edge of the public beach and sat down on one of the deserted wooden chair rentals. Without the cushions that came with them, they were a little painful, but not so much I’d sit on the beach and get all sandy.
I lay back and closed my eyes, letting the sound of the ocean waves soothe me. I’d let this happen. I knew when I agreed to spend time with Jax I would end up caring way too much. He’d never said we were exclusive. He never said he loved me. Yes, he said many other things, like me being his air and needing me, but now all of those words seemed almost unreal. Frustrated with myself for doing exactly what every other girl in America would do, I wasn’t any different from the rest of them. His eyes and smile melted me and sent warm shivers down my spine. I needed to get a grip and get over it. Jax liked spending time with me because I happened to be a no strings attached deal. He liked being around me because I didn’t think everything he did was wonderful. He had enough admirers. He didn’t ask or require my love. I went and fell in love with him of my own free will. I rubbed my eyes with my fist and fought the stupid tears spilling out. Crying would not help this or make it get better. Yet, here I sat alone on the beach crying like a lovesick loser.
“Ugh!” I sat up and wiped my face with my shirt and decided I wouldn’t cry another tear over Jax Stone.
My chest ached at the thought of leaving Ms. Mary and Mr. Greg and Marcus...heck I would even miss Ms. Fran, but could I stay there and see him and be at his house, loving him the way I did? I let out a sigh, not sure what to do. At times like this, I really needed a mother with common sense and wise words.
“Sadie.”
I turned. Marcus was walking toward me. I wiped the rest of my tears away and stood. He still wore his white dress shirt from work, but it was untucked and the collar loosened.
When he got close enough to me to hear my voice over the wind and waves, I asked, “Marcus, what are you doing here?”
Marcus grinned sheepishly and pointed back at the lifeguard station with his thumb over his shoulder. “I’ve got an inside source.”
Confused, I frowned and looked to where I’d talked to Amanda.
He saw the frown on my face and gave a dramatic sigh. “Do you know Amanda’s last name?”
I shook my head slowly, trying to remember if she’d told me her last name.
“Amanda Hardy, aka my little sister.”
My mouth formed an “O,” and I turned back to him, studying his attractive features. Suddenly, I realized he and his sister shared the same eyes and smile. “Does she know I work with you?” She’d never said anything to me before, and her friendliness made a lot more sense being the sister of my friend.
He nodded as if found guilty of a crime. “Yes, I mentioned you on your first night of work when I got home, and she remembered you from school.”
I nodded, still shocked at the connection. I really never thought about the fact Marcus had family around here, and I might know the people in it.
And then it hit me: she knew about Jax. “Does she know...?”
Marcus shook his head. “No. No, I can’t tell her about Jax. She would freak out and start stalking my work place.”
I smiled sadly, but a wave of relief washed over me. “I don’t see her as the stalking type.”
Marcus laughed and raised his blond eyebrows. “Jax Stone happens to be all over her bedroom walls.”
I smiled and sat back down. “Why did you come to find me?”
Marcus sat down in the chair beside me. “You’re my friend, and I didn’t like knowing you were hurt. I wish you would have waited on me to take you home, but I understand why you wanted to leave.”
I didn’t reply because I wasn’t really sure what to say. We stared out at the water for some time.
Finally, Marcus said to me, “You knew he would only be here for a little while. He is going to leave, and you’re going to be here. Your worlds are too different.” He stopped and cleared his throat. “You’re not like other girls, Sadie, and that is attractive to a guy. We get tired of the same stuff, and when someone as beautiful as you comes along, with all your sweet, naive, accepting ways, someone like you is what we are all searching for.”
I started to argue, but he stopped me with his hands.
“I am not saying any of this right, so let me finish and see if I can explain this better. When I first saw you, I was immediately attracted to your outward appearance.
However, after talking to you, getting to know you, and watching you at work, I realized I would have been attracted to you if you were plain and mousy. My guess is Jax hasn’t been around anyone with your traits in a long time, and mix it all in with the fact you’re a gorgeous blonde and ‘bam’ he got hooked. I can’t blame him for wanting you.” Marcus’s hand fisted in his lap. He seemed angry now. “But I can fault him for acting on his interest in you. He unleashed all his charm on you, knowing it could only be for a short time. And for that, I'm going to make sure he pays.”
A sudden knot of fear formed in my stomach, and I immediately shook my head. “Marcus, no! I chose this. You’re right, I knew it wasn’t as serious to him, or even long term. I let myself care too much, and it’s my stupidity. Nothing he did was wrong.”
Marcus shook his head. “He is older and more knowledgeable about the ways of the world than you. I blame him.”
I laughed, not sure how, but I did. “I need a friend, Marcus, not a white knight.”
Marcus grinned. “I am your friend, Sadie, and that will never change. However, I wouldn’t mind being your white knight either.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t really choose him, Marcus. My heart did. I didn’t want to love him. I knew it would end up breaking my heart, but I couldn’t stop it. Every time I got around him, I fell harder. He isn’t the guy everyone sees on television. He isn’t some rich, shallow rocker. He has a kind heart, and there is this little boy inside of him who still needs approval from those he cares about. He accepts others for who they are, and he never judges anyone.”
Marcus’s expression seemed so sad. “You got inside the star and found the heart. It will only make this harder on you.” He reached over and took my hand. “I’m here with a shoulder to cry on, whenever you need it.”
I wanted to cry now, but I knew I couldn’t do so in front of Marcus. I didn’t want him mad at Jax because I’d turned into a silly lovesick fool. Instead, I stood up. “I need to head home.”
I slipped my hands into the pockets of my shorts. The evening wind had begun to cool.