Without Regret (Pyte/Sentinel 2)

“But I bet you learned a lot,” he pointed out as he followed after her.

“Yeah, that you’re a sadistic bastard who makes women cry,” she said, placing a hand at the small of her back as she waddled towards the elevators that would take them to their floor.

What should have been a ten second walk turned out to be a five minute walk since she kept having to stop to catch her breath.

“Are you okay? Maybe you should just use the bathroom down here,” he suggested, reaching out to take her hand and guide her back towards the clinic.

She pulled away and continued on with her waddling. “I just want some time alone to think and soak in a hot bath.”

“Let me help you,” he said, moving back to her side.

“I don’t need your help, Chris. What I need you to do is stop confusing the hell out of me, because I have to be honest here, your split personalities are giving me whiplash,” she snapped as she scanned her hand and pressed the call button for the elevator.

“Just give me a chance to explain that, Munchkin, please,” he said, following her onto the elevator.

“No, I gave you enough chances and I think we can both agree that you’ve made it more than obvious how you feel about me and the baby over the past couple of months so I really don’t see the point, do you?” she asked, crossing, well, trying to cross her arms over her large chest. Thanks to her pregnancy her br**sts were a lot bigger than before.

“You don’t know how I feel about you,” he bit out, trying to stay patient and not lose his temper, but it was difficult.

“Yeah, I’m an inconvenience except when you need to get off.”

“No, you’re the woman that I’m in love with,” he said, hating himself for all the shit and misery he’d put her through over the past few months. “And I’m so f**king sorry for what I put you through.”

“No, you’re not,” she said tightly, wiping at her eyes.

“Yes, I am, Munchkin. I love you and I’m sorry for the way that I treated you, but you have to know that I did it to protect you, I-“

She turned on him as the elevator doors slid shut. “To protect me? You treated me like garbage to protect me?

No,” she said, shaking her head firmly, “you did it to protect yourself.”

“No, I-“

“Yes, you did! You’re only nice to me when it’s convenient for you like now that you’ve discovered that you can have me and your family too. You never would have chosen me, but now thanks to your father you don’t have to, now do you? But guess what? I don’t choose you. I don’t want you. You had your chance and you blew it!” she screamed.

“That’s not fair, Izzy, especially since you don’t have a f**king clue about what you’re talking about,” he bit out evenly.

She snorted her disbelief. “I don’t? Really? I know that you’re too scared to live your own life. I know you’ve wrapped your entire life around your family. I know that you’re a coward and-“

“They f**king saved me!” he roared, getting into her face and backing her into a corner. “You have no f**king idea what it was like before they took me in. I had to watch every f**king move I made. You don’t know what it’s like to have to worry about your mother being too drunk or stoned to f**k some guy and instead offered him up your ass. You never had to worry that the man would take her up on it and that you wouldn’t be able to get to the knife you that you slept with quickly enough or run fast enough before he tried to take her up on the offer.”

“Oh, my god, Chris,” she mumbled, tears streaming down her face, but he didn’t f**king care anymore. She wanted to know why his family was his world then he would tell her.

“Then never got me, but that wasn’t from a lack of trying. You also don’t know what it’s like to be so f**king hungry that you’d do anything for food. You have no idea how f**king scared I was all the time or how it felt when I was kicked out onto the street because she found someone stupid enough to take her in.”

“My family took me in and saved my life, Isabella. They gave me a home, love and loyalty and I owe them everything! Everything!”

“Do you really think they want to see you alone and unhappy?” she asked, her voice breaking with emotion as she reached up to cup his face. “Do you?”

He shook his head stubbornly. “They need me to protect them.”

“No, they need you to be happy!” she cried, tightening her grip when he tried to pull away from her. “They love you so much, Chris, don’t you see that? They don’t want a bodyguard or a soldier or whatever the hell you’ve been for them. They want a son, a brother and a friend. They want you, Chris.”

“I’m good at taking care of them,” he bit out. “That’s what I do. I make sure they’re safe and happy and that makes me happy.”

“Bullshit!” she snapped, shocking him. “You’re not happy!”

He opened his mouth to argue, but what was there to say? He was glad his family was safe and he was happy for them, but he wasn’t happy. They were his family and he loved them, but they never filled a void inside of him, or gave him so much joy that he thought that he just might burst.

Only she did.

All she had to do was walk in a room and he felt better, lighter, freer and he’d been a damn fool to push that away. He was still scared to death that someone was going to hunt her down and try to take her away from him, but he knew that he wouldn’t let her go without a fight.

But as much as he loved his family he couldn’t let them make this decision without talking to them first. He had to make sure living with them was what they really wanted, because he couldn’t stomach the idea of putting them at risk. If they had doubts then he would take her away to keep them safe, but he couldn’t give up his mate and baby. He just couldn’t.

“You make me happy,” he said, looking down into her beautiful face.

“You don’t seem to be happy,” she said, sniffling.

“That’s because I’m an ass**le,” he said, smiling when she let out a little choked little laugh.

“That’s true,” she said with a watery smile that gave him hope.

“Can I have one more chance? Please,” he said, leaning down to press a kiss to the tip of her nose. “I love you, Munchkin and I want a chance to prove it to you and Jessica. Please, give me another chance.”