God, Jim was an ugly crier.
Tears rolled down his cheeks. Eyes puffy. Snot hanging down his nose in a mucusy mass.
Jeez, this was pathetic.
And yet, I felt terrible.
Awkwardly, I held out a napkin in his direction.
“Here take it,” was my apologetic voice. “This will help.”
He grabbed the paper, crumpled it into his hand and just cried even harder.
Sighing, I got up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, rubbing his arm in a soothing manner.
“Shh, shh, please don’t cry…” I whispered, trying to get him to stop.
I just couldn’t stand to see him like this. With each passing minute, the pain in my heart grew more and more intense, like a hot knife twisting back and forth.
I should have been gentler with him. I should have found another way to let him go. Oh God, why did I make him cry? This was such a bad idea.
The blond man’s body shook with sobs as he sniffled, wiping the snot from his nose.
I handed him another napkin, trying to avoid the staring eyes around the restaurant. We had turned into a spectacle and I probably looked like the goddamn she-devil, face red as a tomato with my hair standing on end.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” I whispered, helping him out of his chair.
Jim complied, slowly led out of the restaurant like a sniveling child.
A part of me definitely felt bad for the guy, but at the same time, I wish he would strap on a pair. Fuck. He was supposed to be a grown man. Men don’t cry.
Mason Evercore wouldn’t.
Once we were outside, I left him by his car. “Are you okay to drive home?”
He nodded, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Slowly, his lips opened and closed as if he wanted to say something, but no words came out. He merely reached forwards and grabbed my hand, squeezing tight while staring into my eyes.
Oh shit.
Not the puppy-dog eyes.
I had to look away, but at the very last moment I leaned forward, and placed a fond kiss on his cheek.
Then, without another word, it was over.
I strolled off, steps sure and firm.
You did right, said the small voice in my head. Don’t look back because your future is before you now.
Did that mean Mason Evercore?
Oh god, I hoped so.
***
A sense of relief washed over me as soon I got home. I leaned against the door and closed my eyes, trying to get the image of Jim’s crying face out of my head. Guilt still lurked inside my chest, but its hold on my heart wasn’t as strong anymore.
Breaking up with Jim wasn’t a choice.
It was a necessity.
I couldn’t keep dating him when all I wanted to do was be with Mason Evercore.
It wouldn’t have been right to either of them.
Maybe nice guys always do finish last. Because what was I doing? I was leaving a perfectly safe choice for the dangerous. I was giving up a bland, vanilla life for time with a felon.
But it was my choice.
This is what I wanted.
And Jim would find himself a nice girl. At least, that’s what I kept trying to tell myself.
I sighed, chest heaving.
Doing so, I became aware of my bra and how the material chafed. It’s one of the problems of being a big girl. My boobies are big too, so big that the straps can dig into your shoulders.
And right now, it hurt.
Hurriedly, I pushed open the bathroom door, already reaching into my shirt and unclipping the hooks.
“Mmm…” was my sensuous moan as the silk dropped off and my girls were able to hang freely, luscious and swinging. The scrap of lace slipped to the ground. Chilly air seemed to wrap around my tits, causing goosebumps to form over the silky flesh. And almost instantly, my nipples stiffened.
But was it the result of the cold, or the man who had yet to leave my mind? The alpha who kept teasing me with his godlike body and all the things he could do to me if only the circumstances had been different.
Oh god.
I wanted Mason. So much. Maybe I was addicted. Hell, there wasn’t even doubt anymore.
Carefully, I slipped on my nightgown and plopped into bed. I was exhausted. Hanging out with Jim always had that effect. It was like he could suck out all my energy and leave me feeling drained.
But not the CEO.
Oh no.
Every time I left the prison, I felt invigorated, like a brand-new person. My skin would tingle and my heart would beat fast. Mr. Evercore made me feel alive.
I pulled the sheets up to my chin, getting comfortable.
Realistically, I’d never cared about Jim. I only dated him because I felt like I had to. He was a nice guy. He was interested in me. It felt like the right thing to do. Any other girl would have done the same. Right?