But Nana didn’t get to be seventy without seeing something of life, and her senses were keen.
“And there’s something about this billionaire, isn’t there?” she said gently. “You think of him fondly, don’t you?”
I choked a little. “Fond” was an understatement for how I really felt. I wanted Kane so badly, I wanted him with me now, I’d give anything to see him again. But I couldn’t talk about that, even the words themselves were too painful, I’d shatter if they were spoken.
So I just nodded, staring at my hands, eyes hot and dry.
“Yes,” I muttered, cheeks flushing. “Yes, I miss him.”
My misery was thick in the air, like a heavy grey cloud, and Nana went for it then. She opened Pandora’s Box in one fell swoop, pulling out all my deep, dirty secrets.
“Do these have anything to do with it?” she asked gently, holding one of the purple thongs up in a wizened hand. “Because I found them in your laundry.”
I looked up and choked. The lacy nothing looked so frivolous, so utterly sexy and inappropriate, dangling from my grandma’s spotted hand.
“Nana!” I gasped, swiping it from her and balling it in my fist, face flaming. “That was in my bag, you went through my stuff!”
“I did,” the old woman confirmed. “I was doing laundry and thought I’d help you. And when I found those, I just thought …”
My face burned brightly, I was so embarrassed. Because there was more than one purple thong. Even now, I could see a pile of the lingerie, neatly folded on the couch, mundane and yet so illicit all the same.
“Nana!” I gasped. There were no words, I was so embarrassed that my mouth opened and closed like a dying fish. “Nana!”
But my grandma merely patted my hand soothingly.
“I’m seventy honey, I know what happens when you wear something like that,” she said. “I know you went somewhere, and that there must have been a man. Is that who you’re missing now, honey? Him?”
I nodded, tears filling my eyes once more.
“Yes,” I said woodenly, biting my lip, trying not to cry. “His name is Kane. He hired me as his maid, and I did something that was totally wrong. I fell in love with him,” I said, my voice cracking, face crumpling totally now. “I fell in love with my employer, even though I wasn’t supposed to.”
I was a total mess, the tears falling like a gushing waterfall, my face scrunched up and red, bawling like a sobbing baby. Because as soon as I said Kane’s name, my heart couldn’t be contained anymore. I missed him so much, I longed for his touch, and it broke me, absolutely destroyed me that he didn’t feel the same, that I was nothing more than an employee.
But Nana was pragmatic, sitting up on the couch.
“And who is this man?” she asked, her voice crisp and clear. “Who is he to do this to you? He’s a man honey, just like any other.”
I bawled even harder.
“N-no, he’s not,” I stammered. “Kane’s a billionaire, he runs the Club, he practically built it himself. The man hired me and I fell in love, but he doesn’t feel the same waaaay!” I wailed like a banshee.
Nana patted my hand soothingly.
“Why do you think that?” she asked with a gentle smile. “Why do you think he doesn’t love you?”
I choked, blubbering a bit.
“Because why did he let me go?” I asked. “Why did he let me walk away?”
Nana was still for a moment, pensive.
“I can’t answer that, you know that. But what I can say is this. I’m an old woman and I’ve lived a long life. And now I know that the only thing that matters is the loving, how you feel about other people, and the people who love you back. So why don’t you tell him how you feel?” she asked, common-sense and utterly real. “Why don’t you tell him that you love him? What’s so wrong about that?”
I goggled at her.
“Nana, did you hear anything I just said? He’s my employer. He hired me as a maid, I wasn’t supposed to fall in love.”
Nana just laughed gently.
“Honey, these are modern days, you don’t need me to tell you that,” she said. “I’m surprised young folks are still stumped by things like class because there are plenty of people who marry up all the time, or marry rich. If we all stuck to the boxes we were born in, it wouldn’t be human. Humans aren’t designed to be cube-shaped, we’re designed to grow and transform, and that includes falling in love with another human being.”
I stopped, mouth still opening and closing with no sound coming out.
“But Nana,” I said slowly. “I was Kane’s maid. He paid me money for my service. For two weeks of my time, I was paid a lot of money.”