I caught myself just as I was about to put my thoughts into action. Is she for real? I looked down at her sleeping face not quiet believing that she could sleep through this shit. If she sleeps this strong I can just fuck her while she’s asleep, get the job done. You’re an ass Lucien; go to sleep.
It took a while but after I worked through the agonizing pain of having her this close and having to fight my natural urge to take what’s rightfully mine, the night didn’t turn out nearly as bad as I’d half expected it would.
I spent most of it taking sneak peeks into her past, barely grazing her mind with a touch as soft as a butterfly’s wings so as not to disturb her. I saw glimpses of her childhood of her life before me. The happy carefree being she always was. And the more I saw the more enthralled I became with the woman who was to be my wife, my mate for life.
She’s different from anyone I’ve everyone I’ve ever known in the past, her brand of sweet and innocent mixed with sultry siren was bound to keep me on my toes for years to come. Each peek into her life was a paradox that sometimes left me laughing out of control and others left my dick hard enough to break steel.
Even the room we were in told yet another story of her life with the many photos and knickknacks she had all over the place. Here it was clear to see the many different aspects of her multiple personalities. There was some little thing scattered here and there that represented some part of all she was made up of.
But there was a touch of sadness hidden in the furthest recesses of her mind. A sadness that it was obvious she tried very hard to hide from those around her. I didn’t see the source of this sadness but promised myself that I would erase it in time.
I kissed her brow as a warmth I’ve never known assailed me. I knew and accepted the feeling for what it was and for the first time in my life did not begrudge sharing part of my inner being with another.
I had no fear of opening myself up and letting her in, because she’s the only one due that, the only one deserving of having all of me. I was doubly pleased that she was someone I could truly feel for, and not just because of our fate, but because of who she was.
So far everything that I’d seen about her has endeared her to me, and though I know part of that is because she was predestined to be mine, that has nothing to do with the part of me that I’ve always been able to keep reserved, well out of reach of others.
The fact that she had already made her way there past my defenses and under my guard made me more determined than ever to give her as much time as I safely could until she came to terms with our ordeal. She didn’t have much of a choice after all and my ego wouldn’t allow me to have it any other way. I’ll be damned if I’m going to be the only one in love.
I realized as that thought settled in my mind that that was part of the reason I could withstand the hell of being close to her like this without losing my shit. As strong as I am physically, my mind has always been stronger. I’ve always been able to use to control things around me, and now was no different.
I felt more at ease now that I’d settled that in my mind and wrapped my arm tighter around her shoulders bringing her closer to me. She made a sighing sound of comfort in her sleep and I looked down at her face, moving the strand of hair that had fallen across her forehead out of the way. That cute little nose!
My fingertips were gentle as gossamer wings when they brushed along her cheek and my lips barely touched the warmth of her skin when I kissed her temple. I closed my eyes as I felt a calmness come over me that I’d never felt before. Beneath the calm still beat the need that has been there since the first time I laid eyes on her, a need that throbbed in my cock like a constant ache.
An ache I’ve been ignoring because it’s never going to go away. That’s just something I’m going to have to live with for the rest of my life. This intermittent low ebb of want, and need that beats just beneath my skin whenever she’s near. It may ease some when she’s away from me, but not by much. And once I take her, we’ll never be able to spend more than a few hours apart without starting to go slightly mad.