“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Randall said.
“I’m waiting for my dad.” She checked the time. “Who is ten minutes late.”
“I’d give him a call. If I know your dad, then I know he’s forgotten or hasn’t looked at the time recently.”
“Oh, right.” She searched in her bag for her cell phone. When she found it, she quickly sent her dad a text. Preacher had given her the phone in case of emergencies, but she didn’t use it, not all the time. In fact, that was her very first text message.
“You can call him.”
“It’s okay.” She tucked some hair behind her ear.
“How have you been?”
“I’ve been good.”
“The foot?”
“It’s doing okay. I mean, every now and then I’m in pain and I can’t wear heels yet.” She had tried, but to no avail. The pain wasn’t worth wearing them.
“And your hand?”
She held her hand out and gave it a stretch. “It’s still attached.”
Randall laughed. “Yes, it’s looking good. What brings you out here?”
“I’m working.” She told him about the job at the library.
“Preacher allowed that?”
“As I told him, I wasn’t asking for permission. He wanted me to take up shopping. I don’t even know if I like shopping.”
“That sounds like him. All he wants is for you to do something to make you happy.”
“I don’t know what makes me happy anymore. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t unload on you like this.”
“It’s fine.”
“Is it, really? I don’t think it is. Forget about it.”
“Robin, you’ve had a lot going on in your life. No one will blame you for trying to make the best kind of go of it as possible. Even I wouldn’t.”
“Half of the time, I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said. “Then of course I think I’m going crazy.”
“Talk to me about these moments.”
She chuckled. “Are you a shrink now as well?”
“No, I’m your doctor and you haven’t been by to see me in some time. I know this can be quite difficult for you.”
“I don’t know. I think it’s easier if I just try to forget about them.”
“Try me. There can’t be anything wrong with sharing your worries and concerns now, can there?”
“I don’t know, it seems kind of pointless to me.”
“The only pointlessness about all of this is if you’re not willing to give it a try,” he said. “I may not be able to help you, but what’s the harm in finding out?”
She released a breath, running her fingers through her hair. “Okay, you’re right. You’re totally right. I can’t say specifically when it happens, but it’s like I hear a voice. A man’s voice. Someone I know. It’s not Preacher or my dad, or even Bishop’s. It’s another man’s voice.”
“Does it make you afraid?”
“No. In fact, it makes me feel like I’ve got to remember. Like there’s something I’m missing and it’s really important for me to know what it is and why.”
“And if you don’t remember?” Randall asked.
“Then I’m missing something vital. I don’t know. It doesn’t make any sense.” She put a hand to her stomach. “I get a twisting in my gut and this need to know my past. All of it. At the same time, I don’t know if I can even handle whatever it is that’s out there, you know?” She nibbled her lip. “I’m so confused about everything, and none of it makes any sense.”
“I don’t know what kind of life you had while you were gone, but it sounds like your past life is trying to make you remember.”
“How do I speed it up?” she asked.
“These things you can’t speed up. All you can hope to do is wait.”
This didn’t help. “I don’t think I have much time.”
“Robin, what do you think will happen if you don’t remember soon?” Randall asked.
She opened her mouth and closed it. “I don’t know.” She looked past Randall’s shoulder to see her father running toward them. She had never been so thankful to see him before. “That’s my dad. I better go to him.”
“Robin, it’s going to be okay.”
“I wish I believed you.” She also wished she hadn’t told him. “Please, don’t say anything to Preacher. I don’t want him to worry. He’s got enough on his plate without throwing my troubles his way.”
“He cares about you.”
“I know and I care about him, but there are some things he doesn’t need to know. This is one of them.” She left Randall and met her father.
“I’m so sorry. I was in the garage working on my bike. I had the music on loud and I lost track of time.”
“It’s all good.”
“You’re sure? I saw Randall. Do you still go to see him?”
“He was passing by. We talked. It’s all fine.” She didn’t want to talk anymore. She’d spoken enough.
“How about I order us some pizza?” he asked.
“I’d like that.”
They walked to the pizza place. She let her father order her some food, and once they had their order, they walked back to his truck. She rested the boxed pizzas on her lap and waited.