But as much as he burned for her, he was determined that it would be different than when they made love before. When he loved her again, it wouldn’t be rushed the way it had been the night he’d brought her home with him from the Broken Spoke. Mariah deserved to be loved slowly, to be cherished in a way that let her know how special she was. She deserved the pampering and romance that had been lacking the first time he’d loved her.
“Are you listening to me, Jaron?” Mariah asked, looking impatient.
“Sorry.” He cleared his throat. “I was thinking about something else.”
“That’s apparent,” she said, laughing. “I asked you if you intend to raise nothing but free-range cattle.”
He nodded. “That’s the plan. There’s a big market for drug and supplement free beef, and the demand for it is growing.”
“What about the breed?” she asked, making notes on her electronic tablet. “Are you going to remain a pure-bred Brangus operation or will you be introducing other breeds into the herd?”
“I’m sticking with the Brangus,” he said, amused by her questions. She’d obviously researched her job and was trying to learn all she could about being a ranch manager.
“From everything I’ve read about them, they’re a pretty popular breed of beef cattle,” she agreed, adding to her notes.
“Brangus are a cross between Brahman and Black Angus cattle and have the best traits of both.” He shrugged. “They yield a good-tasting, high-quality grade of lean beef like the Angus and are more disease resistant and better suited to the Texas climate like the Brahman.”
“That makes sense.” She frowned as she looked directly at him. “You know your breed and why you chose it and you have a clear goal to keep the herd free-range. Why do you need me to be the ranch manager when you have all of this worked out and could easily manage the ranch yourself?”
“Because I’m a cowboy at heart, darlin’.” Giving in to the heat flowing through his veins, he rose from his chair, rounded the desk and, scooping her up into his arms, sat down in the armchair and settled her on his lap. “You can take care of managing the ranch while I’m out working with my hired hands.”
As she stared at him, he felt as if he could easily lose himself in her emerald eyes. “Jaron, I’ve never been good at playing games.”
He didn’t even try to pretend he didn’t know what she was referring to. “I’ve never been any good at that, either, Mariah.”
“Then, why have you been running hot and cold for the past week and a half?” she asked pointedly. “You pull me in and then push me away and I want to know why.”
“I’m sorry.” He kissed her soft, perfect lips. “I’ve been trying to do what I thought was best for you, but just having you here with me has undermined all of my good intentions.”
To his surprise, she grinned. “In other words, I was right. You’ve been fighting a losing battle.”
“Yeah, I guess I have,” he admitted, smiling back at her.
“I’m glad you finally came to your senses and realized that. So where do we go from here?” she asked, her expression turning serious. “Are you going to tell me why you made love to me and then shut me out as if I was nothing more than a one-night stand? Or are you going to push me away again?”
“You don’t pull any punches, do you?”
She shook her head. “I told you, I don’t play games.”
He knew he should tell her everything and wish her the best in life as he watched her walk away from him. Instead, he took a deep breath and told her as much as he could without going into the revolting part about his father.
“After my mother died, I didn’t have anyone who cared about me,” he said, barely able to remember the woman who had given him life. “I learned early on that I always came up lacking in one way or another and it was easier not to count on anyone being there for me or caring what happened to me. It wasn’t until I was sent to the Last Chance Ranch because I kept running away from the foster homes they put me in that I learned what having a family meant.”
“Is that why you’ve always been more quiet and reserved than your brothers?” she asked softly. “You wanted to avoid rejection?”
“It’s easier being a loner than setting yourself up for failure,” he said, nodding. There was some truth in her assumption, and certainly where she was concerned.