Although going out was tempting, it sounded too much like a date. That wasn’t what she was there for and she certainly didn’t want to give Nate the false impression that she was falling under his spell yet again.
“Staying here for a movie is fine with me,” she answered decisively as they climbed the stairs. “I’ll be able to turn in right after it’s over.”
When they reached her room, he stopped her when she started to open the door. “Do you think you’ll feel up to going with me to the rodeo up in Amarillo this coming weekend?” he asked.
“Why wouldn’t I?” she asked, frowning. “I’m not ill, I’m pregnant.”
“I wasn’t sure if you thought it would be too tiring,” he said, reaching up to rub the back of his neck with his hand. “I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know all that much about how a pregnant woman feels or what she should or shouldn’t do.”
Unable to stop herself, she placed her hand on his arm. “Other than becoming seriously addicted to naps, I feel good,” she said, smiling. “So good in fact, I plan on working right up until the baby is born.”
“Okay. Let me go back and rephrase my question. Would you go with me to the rodeo this weekend?”
She knew she should tell him no and be content with a little alone time so that she could think. But she just couldn’t resist the chance to finally see how good of a rodeo rider he was. In the two and a half years they’d known each other, Nate had never asked her to watch him compete, and she wasn’t about to miss the opportunity. Between her work schedule and the fact that she was on duty most weekends, it had made sense. But it would have been nice if he had at least asked her to go with him when they’d been seeing each other, even if she would have had to turn him down.
“I’d like that.” Knowing they would need to be there for two or three nights, she felt compelled to add, “As long as we have separate rooms.”
“Of course.” Tracing his index finger along her jaw, he leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “Sweet dreams, darlin’.”
The feel of his lips on her skin and the look of longing in his eyes stole her breath and it took everything she had in her to turn, walk into the bedroom and shut the door. Releasing the breath she’d been holding, Jessie changed into her nightshirt and grabbed her wedge pillow before climbing into bed. Once she’d turned to her side and arranged the pillow to support her stomach and one of the bed pillows to support her back, she found herself staring at the closed door, wondering if Nate was going to have as much trouble going to sleep as she knew she would.
As a deep sadness began to fill her, a lone tear trickled down her cheek. She impatiently swiped it away with the back of her hand. What was wrong with her? Why did she feel such a keen sense of disappointment?
He was doing exactly as she had asked him to do. Although he had admitted over dinner that he hadn’t given up on wanting them to get married, he wasn’t pressing the issue. And other than a couple of chaste kisses to the forehead and holding her when they danced, he hadn’t made a move toward a more intimate caress.
The baby chose that moment to move and placing her hand on her stomach, Jessie bit her lip as she tried to fight the wave of emotion threatening to swamp her. She missed Nate holding her, loving her. In all of her twenty-six years, she’d never felt as safe and secure as when she was in his arms. But she couldn’t let her emotions sway her.
This was the way she wanted it—the way it had to be. She couldn’t afford to let down her guard and fall for him again. It wasn’t just her welfare she had to think about anymore. Her child was counting on her to make responsible decisions and she wasn’t about to let her son or daughter down.
She was going to protect them both from the heartbreak that she feared would accompany her becoming involved with Nate again. It would be better for their child to never know what it was like for his or her parents to be together, rather than go through the upset when they eventually broke up.
Jessie took a deep, shuddering breath. She just hoped she could remain strong and not give in to the temptation of starting something again with Nate that she knew he either couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to.
* * *
The following evening, Nate yawned as he carried a tray with a big bowl of popcorn, a bottle of water for Jessie and a soft drink for him into the media room. He’d spent the entire night lying awake, thinking about the woman in the bedroom across the hall from the master suite. Holding her while they danced at the Broken Spoke, feeling the slight bulge of her rounded stomach rubbing against his lower belly and knowing it was his baby she was carrying had revved his engine faster than he could slap his own ass with both hands.