“Darlin’, I know that I’ve been a thoughtless bastard and you have every right not to want anything to do with me,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “Believe me, if I could go back and do things different, I would. But all that’s in the past now and besides, circumstances have changed. All I can do is give you my word that it will never happen again.”
“Because of the baby,” she said slowly.
When he nodded, Nate watched her catch her lower lip between her teeth to keep it from trembling and knew she was fighting to keep her tears in check. It tore him apart to think he was the reason behind all of her turmoil. It reminded him of the times before her death that he had witnessed his mother cry over something his father had said or done. He might not know what a lifetime commitment was all about, but he knew for damned sure it shouldn’t be filled with stress and uncertainty. Nate silently made a vow to do everything in his power to never cause Jessie that kind of emotional pain again.
“N-Nate, we went over this before,” she said, her voice shaky.
When a lone tear slid down her cheek, he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb, then gently kissed where it had been. “I know we covered this the other day and I asked you then to let me prove to you that I can change. But I can’t do that if you won’t let me hold you or kiss you. I need to be able to show you, Jessie.”
She closed her eyes as she murmured, “N-Nate, I’m tired of your on-and off-again games.”
“I know, darlin’,” he said, pulling her more fully against him. She was wary and he couldn’t blame her. He held her for several long seconds as he tried to find the words to get her to take a leap of faith. “I’m sorry for the way I treated you in the past and I’ll be the first to admit that I should be shot for doing that. But I’m in unfamiliar territory here and trying to do what I think is right. All I can do now is ask that you forgive and trust me.”
“That’s asking a lot,” she said, opening her eyes to stare up at him.
He nodded as he leaned forward to kiss her cheek. “I know it’s going to take a lot of courage, Jessie. But you’ll never know for sure if you don’t take the chance. Give me that much and I swear you won’t be sorry you did.”
The look in her eyes told him she was still frightened, but to his relief, when he slowly began to lower his head, she didn’t pull away. Lightly brushing her perfect mouth with his, Nate wondered how he had been able to stay away from her for the past several months.
He felt that way every time he went back to ask her to give him another chance and he briefly wondered if he would get antsy again when things started getting more serious than he intended. But he was going to have to push that concern aside. He was determined to do the right thing and marry her, just as his foster father would expect him to do. But he couldn’t help but worry about the next step. What if she pushed him aside once she learned what had landed him and his brother in foster care when they were kids and the reason behind it?
Soft and sweet, her lips clung to his and he forgot all about his reservations. When he deepened the kiss to explore her tender inner recesses and reacquaint himself with the taste of her passion, she brought her arms up to circle his shoulders. It caused his heart to beat double time and his breath to lodge in his lungs when she kissed him back. Savoring her like a fine wine, he leisurely stroked her tongue with his as he imitated a more intimate union .
His body began to tighten predictably. Deciding it would be best to end the caress before he took things too far, he started to ease away from the kiss. It appeared she was going to give him another chance and he wasn’t going to blow it. Besides, he was only adding more tension to his already frustrated libido.
But apparently Jessie had other ideas and, suddenly taking control, she did a little exploring of her own. Nate’s body hardened so fast it caused him to feel light-headed and, groaning, he had to shift to keep his jeans from emasculating him.
“I think it’s about time for me to walk you upstairs to your room,” he said as he tried to force air back into his lungs.
Everything in him urged him to kiss her again and with a lot more passion. But he couldn’t risk doing something stupid now. Not when one wrong move could give her reason to end things between them for good.
When they climbed the stairs and walked to her bedroom, he kissed her cheek, stepped back and started back downstairs. “Sweet dreams, darlin’.”
“Aren’t you going to bed now?” she asked.