“I’ve always been amazed by how fast a good physical therapist is able to get results,” she said, happy to hear Nate was progressing so quickly. It had only been five days since Max, his physical therapist, had showed up to start working with Nate on his rehab exercises. “Does he think you’ll be ready to take part in the National Finals next month?”
Nate smiled. “Yup. Max says I’ll be ready a few days before I have to be in Vegas. That will give me a chance to ride a couple of Sam’s practice bulls to get back in the swing of things.”
Jessie forced a smile. “That’s nice. You’ll have to tell me all about the finals when you get back.” It was a complete lie. She didn’t want to think about him riding another ornery animal—not even for practice—or that he might get hurt again while he was doing it.
“I won’t have to tell you about it,” he said, smiling as he shook his head. “You’ll be right there with me.”
She stared at him for endless seconds and tried to stay calm. “I really don’t think I can do that, Nate,” she said, choosing her words carefully.
He frowned. “Why not, darlin’?”
“I’ll be working at the hospital in Waco by then,” she said, thinking quickly. “And I can’t use any more of my vacation days or else I won’t have any extra time to take off when the baby is born.”
“Don’t worry about time off without a paycheck,” Nate replied as if it didn’t matter that she wouldn’t have money to pay her rent. “I’ll take care of whatever you and the baby need.”
“Excuse me?” She wasn’t sure she had heard him correctly. “You’re absolutely not going to pay my bills.” It would make her feel like a kept woman to have him taking care of her expenses.
“Calm down, Jessie.” He took her hands in his. “I’m just telling you that I want to make sure you have as much time with the baby as you’d like before you go back to work. I know how important that is to you and I’m going to make sure that it happens.”
It was true that she was determined to keep her financial independence, but there was more to her reaction than that. The main reason she was so upset had nothing whatsoever to do with her going back to work or him paying for her to stay home with the baby. It was all about his week and a half at the rodeo National Finals in Las Vegas and the danger he would face on the meanest bulls the stock contractors had to offer. Not to mention that she was overly tense from the frustration of spending every night lying in bed with him snuggled against her. Since their night in Amarillo the longing had built inside her and she felt as tightly wound as a coiled spring.
“Can we discuss this later?” she asked suddenly. If they continued to talk about it, she was afraid she would end up telling him the real reason she wouldn’t be going to watch him ride—that she was scared to death she’d see the man she was falling for get hurt again or worse.
Nate continued to stare at her for a moment before he finally nodded and put his arms around her. “I don’t want you to worry, Jessie—not about having extra time with the baby or about me getting hurt when I’m riding the bulls. Stress isn’t good for you or the baby.”
She didn’t even try to correct him about his assumption that she was frightened he would be injured again. They’d both know she would be lying if she did.
“That’s easy for you to say. You aren’t the one having to watch and know that there’s nothing you can do to stop the disaster happening right before your eyes,” she said, giving up all pretense about what the real issue was that had her so upset. “You weigh about a hundred and seventy pounds. Those bulls weigh two thousand. When it comes right down to it, who do you think will be the first to break?”
He leaned back to look at her. “Are you telling me you want me to quit?”
Upset and unable to sit still, she rose to her feet to pace the room. What did she want? Nothing would please her more than to know he was never going to risk his life on the back of another one of the vile animals. But just because she wanted that, didn’t mean it was right for him. That was his decision to make, not hers.
She took a deep, steadying breath. “I would never ask you to do that, Nate. You’re a bull rider. It’s what you do. It’s who you are. And I know you’re good at it.”
He continued to sit on the couch, staring at her. “You’ve always known I ride the rough stock, Jessie. I told you that up front the day we met.”