"Perfect. But be of a mind that it's harder to remove it once given. Err on the side of hunger."
Smiling, I looked up. There was a happy contentment in his eyes. My smile faded. "Pierce, I can't do this."
"You're halfway there," he cajoled, and I shook my head, pulling my hand from his.
"No, I mean you! You're standing there, looking at me as if we just came out of that hole in the ground in Trent's woods. I can't do this! I can't ask you to help me when you think there might be a chance that someday . . ."
My words cut off. I was helpless to continue. Head shaking ruefully, he took my hand back in his own. "I know when I've been given the shrug," he said, tilting his head to keep me quiet when I rushed to explain. "You did well by me, and we both turned our attentions elsewhere. I'd be a cad to expect you to think of me as anything other than fondly. But a man can't help but remember. Now, hold the aura as it is and shift it to orange. What is needed of the red will remain within the charm. Easy now. If you can do this, then you can do the rest."
"Thank you," I breathed, hanging my head and closing my eyes because I couldn't bear to look at him anymore. Orange, I thought, shifting my aura as Bis and I had been practicing. This was easier than the melding of colors that we usually did, sitting at an outside cafe and trying to mimic the auras of people passing by, and Pierce's grunt of approval was like a wash of hope through me.
"Now to yellow," he prompted. "More than before since yellow is so thin to begin with."
I knew what he meant, and like hearing a partial chord of a song and knowing what came next, I layered another complexity over the rings, seeing it soak in as the excess orange melted away. The rings were starting to hum, taking on a note all their own.
"The blues and purples," he whispered, excitement in his voice. "You are a caution, Rachel. The demon you will be!"
I almost lost it, but caught myself, concentrating on the feel of his hands around mine as I added the last. Sweat trickled down, and I cracked open an eye at the funny tickle of feeling in my chi. My aura wanted to flood the rings with power, and I held it tight.
"My God . . ." Pierce breathed. "Easy, Rachel. Hint at a shadow of black. It should have invoked. It needs a harmony of something else, something dark. I've never charmed elven silver; it needs something else."
I was holding my breath, and I let it out as I turned my aura to an ultraviolet hue. It was as if smut snaked down my arm, but when it hit the rings, it pooled around them, refusing to join.
And then tiny cracks appeared in the cold, dead metal. Shit.
"Easy . . ." Pierce whispered as he stared at them. "Let it soak in."
My head was starting to hurt, and my arm felt dead. Pinpricks coated it, and I began to shake. The cracks grew, sending spiderwebs of instability through the surface of the rings. Panicked, I froze. There wasn't enough energy in there yet to rekindle the charm, but any more, and it would break. "Pierce?" I warbled, and his fingers around mine grew warm.
"I can't do anything," he said. "Rachel, you have to finish it!"
"It's going to break!" I said. "I can't hold it!"
"It's that damned elven magic," he said, and I caught my breath when his hands left mine. "Your energy is not mixing with the original maker's. Can you . . . think elf thoughts?"
Think elf thoughts, I mocked in my head, but the cracks weren't going away. I couldn't stop, and I couldn't move forward. I knew it would blow them to hell if I just let it go. "Elf thoughts," I muttered, frowning as I thought of Trent, tricky, proud, arrogant.
The skin of the rings seemed to shimmer, and I took a quick breath. The cracks were still there, but it felt right. My teeth clenched, and the memory of Trent's music as he sung my soul to sleep slipped into me, hazy from my subconscious. It was his plea to his goddess that he didn't believe in to listen, the source of his wild magic. It circled around and around in my head until I felt a somnolent nothing seem to take notice, hesitating in its glorious song, turning one of a thousand eyes to me. Hear me, I thought, begging. See what I'm doing. Lend me your skill.
Wild magic smiled at me, and the skin of the rings warbled. My last shining of aura reached for the rings, and with a ping of sound that echoed in my soul, the magic vibrated through me and became one. That simple, the rings reinvoked themselves and sealed.
I gasped, staring at the rings glowing in my palm like glory itself.
"Well, I'll be!" Pierce beamed as his protective circle flickered and went out. "You did it! First time out of the box!"
Elated, I clutched the rings. I had a chance now. I had a chance to fix the line, to free Lucy and Ceri. I looked at the clock on the stove before I remembered where I was. I had to get back to Trent. We had to move on this, and now!
"Thank you, Pierce, thank you!" I said, pulling him into an expansive hug, my clenched hand with the rings tight to his back. "I couldn't have done it without you. I can do something now. Thank you!"
He was smiling when I dropped back, his curls at his forehead damp with the heat, and my expression froze when he touched my hair. "You did it, not me," he said. "All of it. I only told you how. You never needed me. Even when you were but a young woman."
I let go of him, the memory of what lay in his eyes rushing back. "I did," I said, needing to be honest. "I did need you. I was strong with you. You helped me find that." Eyes down, I shoved the rings away. "I'm sorry," I said, knowing it was over, but not remembering why.
Pierce took a step back to put more space between us. "I demanded too much," he said, his sadness at himself, not me. "I see in your heart you found someone who makes you strong who does not hold too tight, who has learned that the pain of losing you to fate is more than the pain of you dying in a cage. Who is he?"
I looked at the clock again. "No one."
"Ivy?" he guessed, immediately shaking his head. "No. Someone new? No, someone old," he said firmly, his eyes going to my pocket. "An elf?" he guessed, then became ashen. "Kalamack?" he blurted, taking my shoulders. "Rachel, no," he pleaded. "I know I have no right, but he lies. He deceives. It is their nature. This is his plan, isn't it? That you come here, risking yourself instead of him?"
"It was my plan," I said, pulling back in anger. Oh yes, now I remembered why it hadn't worked. "It was all I could do to make him stay and not follow me here. He would've been recognized. I have a right to be here." I glanced at Newt's kitchen. "Well, not here, here, but the ever-after. Besides, would you've taught him how to invoke the rings?"
Damn it, he'd made me mad at him again, and I didn't want to be.
"He made you think it was your idea." Pierce pleaded, "Don't trust him. He's a Kalamack!"
"He . . ." I started, not knowing where I was going with my argument. Pierce had said I'd found someone new to love, and Trent wasn't it, but to say so sounded like I was protesting my way into a bag of truth. "There's no reason I can't work with him," I said belligerently, making a fist to hide Trent's pinkie ring. "Ku'Sox stole Ceri and his daughter. I can trust his hate."
There was a small circle on the floor where I'd popped in, and I stood in it, waiting for his help to get out of here. Nothing like needing an ex-boyfriend to slam your door for you as you make your dramatic exit.
"But he will spoil you, Rachel," Pierce said, and I stared until I realized he meant ruin, not overindulge. "He'll turn your heart hard and you will become as him. A shallow, self-indulgent shell of what you are now. Don't trust him. Let me help you. I have an arsenal. We can destroy Ku'Sox together. Right now. This very hour. Your strength and my charms. Our magics blend so well. With those rings, we can make a fist of it for sure!"
I looked him up and down, not surprised. "The rings are not for attack, they're a safety net for fixing the line. You keep telling me that Trent is going to change me, but you're the one who keeps trying to get me to kill everyone!"
"But it needs to be done," he insisted, and I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Send me to the mall, please," I said tightly. "I appreciate your help more than you will ever know."
"Rachel."
It was stifling, and I brought my attention down from the ceiling. Pierce stood before me, looking capable and strong, with his curls about him and his eyes promising me success. I remembered how thick his circle had become and imagined the skills he'd been honing since becoming Newt's familiar. Had she been training him for this? "Can you leave Newt's rooms without being detected?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
His head dropped. "No."
My posture eased and my anger vanished. "I'm sorry, Pierce," I said, touching his arm. "You'll jingle like bells in the forest, and I have to move with stealth. You've given me a tool that I didn't have before. I can do this. Thank you."
Jaw tight, he looked up, hearing the truth in it.
"Do you need anything?" I asked, not wanting to leave like this.
"Only that which you can't give. And I will not ask for it."
Yep, that's about what I thought. Sick at heart, I shifted foot to foot. "I have to go."
A savage light lit through his eyes, and his chin lifted. "Wait, there is one thing." Moving close, his expression became almost taunting. "Let me kiss you good-bye, for if fate allows that I see you again, you will not be you anymore."
"Pierce . . ." I whispered, but he'd taken both my shoulders and pulled me close. My breath caught, and as our lips touched, he filled my soul with the memory of his love. Tears warmed my eyes, and I didn't pull away, wanting just for a moment this perfect spot of what we might have had. Our auras, already sensitized to each other, mixed with swirls of pinpricked energy, sparking over our skin as our lips moved against each other, and his hands pressed into me with the memory of what had been.
Slowly he let go, and I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, not ashamed for my tears. I could have loved him, but he demanded too much.
"I'm not going to change," I said, meaning several things at once.
Chin high, he let go and stepped back. "Elves are more evil than demons. They warp you to suit their needs and make you think it was your idea. You will always be in my heart, Rachel Morgan. Go, before my foul jailer comes back."
"Pierce."
He turned away and gestured. "Go."
I vanished, seeing him standing in a spot of sunlight that never moved, alone and apart, but wanting more.
I am not becoming Trent's tool, I thought as I misted back into existence at the fountain and the trite sound of synthesizers and cheerful lyrics beat on me. I was making my own decisions, not Trent's. Pierce was seeing the world through ancient glasses.
But as I pushed past the few meandering demons in search of the coffeehouse, I couldn't dispel a faint whisper of warning.