“You didn’t touch yourself while you were gone?”
“Not once.”
I shake my head at his ruthless control. I throw my arms over my head and stretch, knowing that the arching motion pushes my breasts upward. His gaze roves over me with intense concentration.
“I touched myself regularly. I’d think of you, of us together, and I’d need to touch myself.”
“You’ll have to tell me what you prefer,” is his husky response. “Your touch or mine.” He enters me slowly this time. A hiss leaks from his lips as he watches his shaft spear into my delicate flesh. I push against the mattress, trying to swallow him faster, have him thrust harder.
“Don’t move, baby. Please. Give me a sec.” His chest heaves like bellows at a forge. His fingers bite into my hips, so deep that there will be impressions tomorrow which I can’t wait to see. Those marks will be a heady reminder of how drunk on lust he is at this moment.
He reaches between us and pinches the base of his penis, shuts his eyes tight and takes deep measured breaths. My body reacts to the invasion of his thrusts. I don’t do it on purpose, but I clench around him.
His eyes flick open. “Don’t move,” he says again through clenched teeth.
“Can’t help it,” I say and undulate beneath him. I really can’t. I need him deep inside me. I want to feel the deliciously heavy drag of his swollen flesh against my sensitive nerves. I want him to fuck me blind.
I must have said it out loud.
“Goddamn your filthy mouth will be the death of me,” he groans. He reaches one arm under my back, holding me tight against his hard push. Leaning forward, he captures a hard nipple in his mouth and sucks hard. Those pulls draw from my belly. No, deeper. The tension between my legs meets the coils of want he’s creating with his kisses, his touches, his thick, deep strokes.
This is it. Here in this moment with him so deep inside my body, his love surrounding me, I can’t hold on to reality for one single more instant. The explosions overtake me, leaking out of my eyes, escaping my throat in guttural animalistic pants, vibrating from my center outward as he thrusts fast and hard, retreating and invading time and again until the warm flood of his ejaculate fills me up.
Even then he doesn’t stop moving. Even as I turn into a quivering heap, shaking from the pleasure. Even as I nearly levitate off the bed when he claims my mouth and reaches between us to press his hard thumb against my clit.
“Holy shit.” He laughs when he comes down to earth.
Holy shit indeed.
“I love you,” I whisper into his sweat dampened skin. “So much. There aren’t even words that really explain how much I love you.”
“I will never leave you again. I love you too much.” His lips press against my shoulder and then my neck and then my mouth to seal his promise.
Epilogue
Dear Son,
I remember the first time I heard your heartbeat. Your mom was only eight weeks along when we went into the clinic to confirm our positive at-home test. They hooked up the ultrasound at our insistence, and we heard the whump whump whump of your strong heart.
My own heart stopped. Here you were, my first born, swimming around in your mom’s belly no bigger than a peanut. Conception is one of those amazing things that is hard to comprehend. My seed. Her egg. You!
Impossible.
Now you’re fifteen, which seems even more impossible.
Do you know how proud I am to be your old man? Very. You wear the Jackson name well.
You watch out for your younger brother and never complain when little Grace uses you as her personal trampoline. You help your mom without asking and still want to play catch with me.
You’ve already learned that kindness can be a way of life and that loving someone makes you stronger and not weaker. These are important lessons that it takes others a whole life to learn.
That other boys don’t understand the way you are choosing to live your life doesn’t make your choices wrong. It only makes them different.
I wish I’d been more like you. When I woke up and realized your mom was the one for me, I’d already squandered that first time on someone whose face I don’t even remember now. If there’s ever a thing I regretted, and I don’t regret much, it’s that she wasn’t my first.
A boy gives his body away to anyone. It takes a man to abstain. These suckers who are hassling you are envious of your fortitude, your strength.
You’re worth a hell of a lot, and I’m glad you realize it. Waiting because you want to find the right one to share that momentous time in your life is not only admirable but an action that shouts leadership.