Fool Me Once

“When our parents died, they left us broke and with only a few fond memories that we cling to like a lifeline. And because of that, I wake up every day, second guessing every decision I make. I worry that I’m studying too much, feeding Zane too much takeout, so I can get my schoolwork done. I worry that I’m putting school first, and that what I have left to give my son isn’t enough. He’s my first and last thought every day. I never want him to look back and view his childhood the way Sierra and I view ours.”

I know I’m rambling, but it feels good to finally get all of this off my chest. For years I’ve compared myself to my parents. Terrified one move in the wrong direction would make me like them.

“Blakely, I’ve only seen you with Zane a handful of times, and I already know you’re a damn good mom.”

“Thank you. I guess my fear is that if I add you to the picture, where does that leave him? Who do I put first? What if there’s not enough of me for everyone and everything?”

“How about we take it one day at a time?” Keegan suggests. “You’re not doing this alone. You have your sister and now you have me. Take a deep breath, and I think you will find everything will click into place. We’re not your parents. We’re us.”

I do as he says, and Keegan’s lips curl into a soft smile, only one dimple appearing.

Butterflies flutter in my belly, telling me what I already know. “I want you,” I blurt out, and his smile grows, that gorgeous second dimple making an appearance, and those butterflies attack my insides. “Not just for Zane, but for me. It may not work out, but I want to give it a try. If Zane weren’t in the picture, and we ran into each other on campus, I probably would’ve already hooked up with you.” My hands fly to my mouth, and Keegan’s entire face breaks out in the most beautiful smile. Even his damn eyes are smiling.

“I mean…” I try to backpedal, but it’s pointless. We both know I meant exactly what I said.

“Then we try,” he murmurs. Pulling me into him, he throws his arm over my shoulders and tucks me into his side, planting a soft kiss on my temple. “And for the record, I definitely would’ve already hooked up with you.”

I glance up at him, and he peers down, granting me a flirty wink.

We spend the entire morning at the park. Zane’s friend eventually leaves, and his attention goes back to Keegan and me. We push him in the swing, chase him around the play equipment, and Keegan even stuffs himself in the slide to go down with him.

When Zane is wiped out and running on E, we head home. He’s too tired to ride his skateboard, so I walk it alongside me while Keegan carries him piggyback style. I would like to give him a bath and get the sand and germs off him, but when we arrive, he’s passed out on Keegan’s back, his arms slinking around his shoulders like a baby koala holding on for dear life.

Peeling him off Keegan, I carry him to his room and tuck him in for a nap. When I come out, Keegan is checking out all the photos. He’s stopped at the one of Zane walking toward me. “It was the second time he walked,” I tell him, and he raises a brow. “The first time he walked, of course, I didn’t have my phone on me, so I insisted Sierra and I both walk around with our cameras open and ready to go all day.”

Keegan laughs.

“When Sunday night hit, and he still hadn’t walked again, I started to freak out.” I laugh, remembering how crazy I was acting.

“He was thirteen months old and in daycare. The next day was Monday, and I was scared he would walk while he was there, and I would miss it. So, I sat down at one end of the rug and made Sierra sit at the other end. We took turns trying to get Zane to walk to us while the other recorded.”

Keegan shakes his head, his face split into a full-blown grin. “And he did it?”

“No,” I deadpan. “But luckily he didn’t do it at daycare either. When we got home from school, I insisted we try again, and even though Sierra totally thought I’d lost my mind, she went along with it, and after like the fourth time of him crawling between us, he stood and walked to me. Of course Sierra wasn’t prepared.” I roll my eyes. “But she was quick with her phone and snapped a picture before he dropped back down and crawled the rest of the way.”