“This is about you breaking your promise to me. There’s only one way out of this room and that’s through my bed. I want a child, Orchard. You either give me a child or you stay here. Forever.”
8
Orchard
His warm breath tingles across my lips, waking up parts deep inside of me, but his words are like an ice bath. They hit so deep it even tempers my anger. That longing that has been growing by the day comes to the surface.
“Why do you keep pushing this?” I put my hands on his chest, pushing back from him a bit. I need room to breathe. With him so close I can’t think straight. He smells too good and I’m pretty sure I’m starved for physical affection. I don’t know how much more I can take. I mean, I’m a young woman that’s never been touched by anything but my own hand. Him standing this close almost demanding I give him a baby isn’t helping the ache between my thighs. The only thing it’s doing is causing me to want things that I know he can’t give me.
“You knew when we married I wanted a family.”
Yes, how could I forget? Everything to him is about appearances. We need to make sure to look as though we are the young couple in love, happily married and anxious to start a family. I mean, what would people think if they knew the truth? Everything is about perception. I’m to play the good little wife and to him that means giving him a child. My emotions are all over the place. As they usually are whenever he’s too close.
“A child is different.” My fingers dig into his button-up shirt. I don’t know if I’m trying to scratch him or get a hold of him. “They aren’t something you buy or use for your image.”
“I would love my child.” I bark out a laugh. If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry. Heath doesn’t know what love is. I don’t know why it bothers me so much that he thinks he could love his child but it’s never dawned on him to try to love me. If he wanted a real family he would have done this so differently.
“What if it’s a girl? Then will you want to have another? For me to keep having babies until you get your heir.” I’m sure that’s what he’s after. I know my father was but there had only ever been me. No matter how hard I tried, I could never live up to what he wanted. It was easier to sell me off than to try to love me. As much as I’ve dreamed of having children, I wouldn’t bring one into this world unless it was out of love.
“I would like many children. I don’t care if they are boys or girls.”
“Liar,” I snap out, some of my anger coming back. It’s better than sadness, but the sadness is too great. Thinking about having more than one child is wreaking havoc on me.
“I’ve never once lied to you, Orchard.” This time I can’t call him a liar because I’ve never caught him in one. “Do you want children?”
“We can’t have children.” If I keep saying the words maybe I’ll eventually believe them. “Would you sell our daughter away the same way my father sold me?”
“Never.” He takes a step back into me, clearing any space I’d made. A small amount of hope blooms in my chest. What if I could never get out of this marriage? Is there a chance that he could love our children? That maybe I could have a slice of the family I’ve always wanted? Maybe I wouldn’t have a loving husband but I know that I would love our children and never let anything happen to them.
“Do you want children, Orchard?” His voice drops. It’s soft. Almost sweet. “Answer me.” He puts more force behind his words now. His breath is again tickling my lips. That warm buzz goes through me like it always does whenever he’s a little too close. It’s never been a matter of whether or not I’m attracted to the man. My husband is hot. If we were basing this baby making business solely on looks, then I’d be crazy not to let my husband put a child in me.
“Yes.” I breathe out the one word. He is making me forget what is happening. I slide my hands up his chest and around his neck. He lets out a deep, low groan. I wonder if maybe he too is starved for physical attention. Maybe Abigail is right about him. Is it possible that there’s more to him?
He pushes closer to me. His hard cock digs into me. A whimper leaves my lips as I begin to get more turned on by the fact that he’s hard for me. I knew on our wedding night that he wanted me, but I was sure over the years with my coldness that any attraction he had for me would turn to distance. That had been the plan. Clearly that didn’t work, based on his cock’s current state.