“Yes . . . no. Hell, I don’t know. Maybe? You’re the first woman who’s made me feel anything, Lincoln. That both excites me and scares me. I’m in territory I haven’t been in for a while.”
I knew how he felt, because I was experiencing the same feelings.
“Seeing Dirk walking you out to the dance floor, it made me insanely jealous. It’s stupid, I know.”
“It’s not stupid. Like you said, I got jealous seeing you with your cousin, and I told you to go dance.”
Brock’s eyes met mine as he stood. “There’s more to it, Lincoln. I’m messed up. I’m carrying around a lot of guilt, and I swore to myself I would never let another woman into my heart. I don’t deserve to be loved . . . not after what I did.”
Now it was my turn to stand up. “What? Why would you even say that?”
He half shrugged. “I’ve got a dark side, Lincoln. Dirk would be the first to tell you that. I’ve done things I’m ashamed of, especially after . . .” His voice trailed off before he sighed and looked back into my eyes. “You’re the first woman I’ve ever felt something for.”
My brows pulled in tightly. “Besides Kaci? You said you loved her.”
His hands went into his pockets, and he looked sick to his stomach. As if what he was about to say physically made him ill. “I did love her, but probably not in the way she needed me to love her.”
The way my heart was hammering in my chest made it hard for me to even hear Brock talking. He was barely above a whisper.
“What do you feel . . . with me . . . that’s different from what you felt with Kaci?”
Brock took a few steps closer.
Everything inside my head was telling me to run. That Brock Shaw was going to hurt me like I’d never been hurt before. But my heart and these crazy feelings I felt for him had me rooted in place.
“More.”
“More?” I whispered.
“When I walked into that barn the other day, I didn’t want to have anything to do with you. I wasn’t the least bit interested and was convinced my heart would never be able to feel things for a woman again. Everything inside me was angry and ready to lash out. But when I saw you standing there, talking to Blayze, it stopped me dead in my tracks. Your smile did something to me that has never happened before, and it threw me for a loop.
“I vowed I wouldn’t fall for another woman, but Christ Almighty, Lincoln . . . I also never believed in falling for someone the moment I laid eyes on them, and you’re all I can think about. I mean, I’m not saying I’m in love with you, but I want more. I need more. I want to know everything about you. What makes you laugh, what movies make you cry, who your favorite actor is, what your favorite type of food is. I want to know more.”
I swallowed hard. My mouth opened to speak, but I had no idea what to say. Brock’s confession was not what I had been expecting. His raw, honest truth moved me beyond words. Heat radiated through my chest, and I couldn’t help but notice my pulse quicken.
“I know you said you weren’t looking to get into a relationship with anyone, and hell, I’m always gone, and my bull riding is one of the reasons my marriage failed. I’ve admitted I have some issues to work out . . . but I want more with you.”
“You want to date?” I asked, finally finding my voice.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. All I know is, the thought of some other guy asking you out nearly drives me fucking insane with jealousy. I loved being with you today, and I loved that Blayze enjoyed it even more.”
I smiled. “I enjoyed today too.”
Brock kicked at nothing on the floor. “Listen, I know there were a lot of people whispering today, and Lucy Mae may or may not be a problem.”
Rolling my eyes, I groaned. “Great, the crazy ex-girlfriend from high school.”
When he took another step closer to me, I held my breath.
Is this something I can do? Is it something I want to do? I was new in town and hardly even settled in. Brock was leaving in a few days. How do you start a new relationship with someone when they’re always out on the road?
His hands came up and gently cupped my cheeks. The way his baby-blue eyes searched my face had me taking hold of his arms to hold myself up.
“Yes,” I softly said.
Brock drew in his brows and asked, “Yes?”
“I’ll go to Billings with you.”
A breathtaking smile moved over his handsome face. Two seconds later, he was kissing me.