We drive in silence until I have to guide him to the right building. The thing about Stuyvesant is that you can’t get close to the entrance. I’ll walk fast.
Plus, the sun should be up soon.
I’m pulled from my thoughts when Jax pulls the car over and turns it off.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Walking you to your apartment, of course.”
“You don’t need to walk me up.”
“Well, then I’m walking you to the building.”
“Seriously, I’m a big girl, and you don’t have to.”
I pull my seat belt off, then fling the door open before he even knows what’s happening. By the time I’m a few feet away, I’m sure he’s ready to drive off, but his car is still there. I walk away when I see familiar dark eyes.
They pierce the night sky. Dark orbs. Threatening.
This can’t be real.
He couldn’t have found me.
Could he?
I shake my head, my pupils enlarging to take in the light. The person who passes comes into focus. Dark eyes morph to light, and bone structures change.
What the . . . it hits me. My eyes were playing tricks on me. My tired brain and lack of sleep are making me see things. Making me crazy.
Warm arms surround me. They try desperately to calm me from the panic that has consumed my body. But even though I know it’s fake, my mind is having a hard time reconciling the truth.
He will find me.
It’s only a matter of when.
“Shh,” I hear Jax coo as his fingers trail circles on my back. I can’t, though. I can’t breathe.
I need to run. Go somewhere else. Go somewhere where no one will find me.
“Shh, you’re okay. I have you.” He doesn’t know what’s happening, but he’s giving me exactly what I need right now.
Protection. Because even though no one has found me, and no one is hurting me, I need protection. But I need protection from myself. From my own mind.
“Take a deep breath,” he says. “Inhale.” I do. He counts to ten slowly. “Now, exhale.” Again, I let him guide me. “That’s a good girl. You’re going to be okay.”
I continue to breathe like that, following his cues until my body and mind reconcile that there is no threat.
Like a veil has finally lifted from my eyes, I realize I’m standing on the street with Jaxson Price’s arms wrapped around me as I have a panic attack.
Again.
My cheeks warm as embarrassment sets in. I lift my hand to push back.
“No.”
“Jax.”
“Let me hold you for another second,” he whispers against my hair. I allow it, but the longer I stand there, the more uncomfortable I become. I finally push back.
“I have to go,” I say.
“Will you be okay?”
“I will.”
“You know you can talk to me . . .”
I nod because I can’t and finding the words to say that seems hard.
He leans down and places a kiss on my cheek. His lips are warm to the touch. A part of me wants to turn my head and let him kiss me—let his lips chase the demons away—but it wouldn’t be fair.
Not until he knows the truth.
I step back.
“Good night, Jax.”
“Good night, Willow.”
The truth bites its way up my throat, but I swallow it and leave.
Not today.
Maybe not ever.
Chapter Thirty
Jaxson
I am exhausted. In the past, a night out, or more like an all-nighter, wouldn’t have fazed me, but back then, I wouldn’t have had to come to the office. If I needed to work, I’d work from home.
But not now.
Nope. Here I am, with zero sleep, sitting in my office, staring blankly at my computer monitor.
I’m not sure what happened with Willow. The one thing I’m certain of is she had a massive panic attack. I tried to help her, but I don’t know what set her off. The longer I know her, the more I want to find out her secret. It would be so easy.
One press of the keyboard.
But the thing is, I want something with this girl. I’m not sure if it’s a relationship yet, but I like her, and I want to try.
Hacking into her life and finding out her secrets is a surefire way to fuck up any chance of being with her. So, as much as I want to delve into the black hole that will find all the answers I need, I don’t. Instead, I reach for the coffee on my desk like it’s a lifeline and try my best to wake up and be useful today.
I’m mid-sip when my door swings open. I pull my gaze up, and I’m met with the narrowed eyes of my brother.
“You look like shit,” he grits out.
“Good to see you too, Grayson,” I respond.
“I see not much has changed in my absence.”
“Now, that really isn’t true . . .”
He raises an eyebrow.
“In the past, I wouldn’t have bothered to even come in.” I swear he looks as though he could throw something, preferably at me. “Seriously, Gray, what’s your problem? I’m here, and I’m working.”