“I thought I made you up,” Jared continued, still so quietly.
“Well,” Kami said. “You didn’t. Want some lemonade?”
“Yeah, okay,” said Jared.
He kept hovering uneasily as Kami went and sat on the sofa with her lemonade. It had been a long day. Not just because of the longest detour through the woods ever made, but because of the talk with the others in the office, having to drag into the light the thing she had been trying not to say. The thing she had not wanted to even think of: Someone had pushed her into that well. Someone was trying to kill her.
Kami was determined to solve the mystery and tell the story. She was going to be fine. But for now she was tired, and all she could do was sit, stare out the window, and feel cold and scared.
“You don’t have to be scared,” Jared said, leaning against the sofa behind her. His breath stirred her hair. “I believed you.”
“Yes,” Kami said. “Because you know I’m telling the truth.” She had not even looked at Jared while she was absorbing the reactions of everyone else at headquarters. She had not had to: your own heart did not betray you. Jared could be counted on, always. But he hadn’t been real before. It was different now.
Yes, said Jared.
“It’s not one-sided,” he added abruptly.
Kami kept her eyes locked on the window. “What do you mean?” she asked, and her voice trembled.
He said, “I’m always on your side too.”
Kami leaned back, just a little, and let the back of her head rest against his collarbone. He did not flinch away, though she heard his breath catch and thought that he maybe wanted to. He was solid, real, in her home and in the sunlight. She felt the warm curve of his neck, the catch of his breath a whisper against her hair.
“Yes,” Kami murmured. “I know.”
He pulled away as soon as she spoke. Kami twisted around on the sofa and looked at him. She was reminded of the way he had fit in with the woods, and thought again how out of place he seemed in her home.
“Is there,” Jared began, voice rough as it had been when they first met. He wasn’t looking at her. “Is there anything I can do to make you happy?”
“I don’t understand.” Kami reached for him in her mind, but his walls were up and his face stayed turned away.
“Nobody’s ever been happy I was there before,” Jared said. “That’s just the kind of effect I have on people. I want you to be glad I’m here. I want it badly. But I have no idea how to make it happen.” He looked at her then, fixing her with that pale gaze. He hardly ever looked at her, but when he did his attention was absolute, and profoundly unsettling. “I’ll do anything you want. All you have to do is tell me.”
Kami bit her lip. “I am happy you’re here.”
It tasted like a lie in her mouth, when they had never lied to each other before. Kami glanced involuntarily away from him, eyes falling to her clasped hands, even though she knew that would make her look more like she was lying than ever.
She wasn’t lying. It wasn’t that she was unhappy he was here: it was just that it was all so complicated. He had been so safe in her head, her constant companion. Now he had come crashing into her life, a stranger with his own life separate from hers whose emotions were all tied up with hers, someone who she barely knew and who sometimes seemed cruel. She could not help being afraid of him: he could hurt her, more than a stranger should be able to, and she did not know if he would.
“You’re not happy,” Jared said, his voice flat, and he headed for the back door.
“Come on, I am,” Kami said. “We’re going to fight crime together. I totally need you to be corporeal.”
He was holding the door open already, but when she spoke she felt him reach for her. She reached back, and felt his little shock of recognition, as if he had only just caught sight of her in a crowd, relief and joy spilling through the connection. She was not quite sure if it was his or her own.
“I could throw thugs out windows for you,” he offered, and there was life in his voice again.
“I can defenestrate my own thugs,” Kami informed him. “But you could maybe get clues for me. You know. Clues on high shelves.”
Jared laughed. “You’re not happy yet,” he said. The afternoon sunlight transformed him into a brightly limned shadow, already turning away. “But you will be.”
Chapter Thirteen
Belief and Unbelief
The back door slid open, softly and gradually, in the dark. The moonlight formed a hazy halo around fair hair, and the silhouette of a woman moved quietly as a shadow into the room.
“Boo!” said Kami, from her sentry position beside the dishwasher.