The second she’d seen him at the hospital, she’d known she’d do anything for him. She loved him as much now as she had when they’d first fallen headlong into love together.
Nothing, and no one, was going to get in the way of her repairing their broken marriage.
They deserved a new and better start together. She’d certainly learned from her past mistakes and accepted there had been many of them. She wasn’t perfect by any standard, but, then again, neither was Xander. She loved him, imperfections and all. She’d grown as a person since he’d left. Deep in her heart Olivia knew that as long as Xander was willing, they could really make a go of things. They could build their marriage into the loving and lasting state of union she’d always wanted.
What if he wasn’t willing? What if his recall, if it came, included every awful word she’d flung at him in grief and anger in the aftermath of Parker’s death? What if he couldn’t forgive her those things? She couldn’t blame him if they were enough to make him leave. After all, they’d had that effect the first time around, hadn’t they? She closed her eyes on the memory, and sucked in a deep breath. This time would be better. They had the cushion of time and distance now, and surely these past few weeks had shown him that they were far better together than apart?
So what could she do? There was only one thing that echoed in her mind. She had to give herself to him. Heart and soul, holding nothing back.
* * *
The afternoon passed in a blur. Xander locked himself in the office off her studio and told her quite emphatically he didn’t want to be disturbed. She filled her afternoon packing her car with the paintings she needed to deliver to a gallery in the morning. With Christmas in only four weeks’ time, she and her agent were hopeful for a high level of sales, especially now demand for her work was growing.
By the time she prepared their evening meal, Xander still hadn’t come out of the office. Worried about him now, especially in light of the severity of the headache he’d suffered that morning, she risked knocking on the office door and popping her head in without waiting for him to respond.
“Xander? Are you hungry? Dinner’s ready.”
She’d gone to the bother of making one of his favorites—steak Diane with fresh spears of asparagus and baby potatoes. A pathetic peace offering given the day they’d had, but in lieu of being able to talk this out with him she’d felt she had to do something.
“I’m not hungry,” he said without turning his head from the computer screen on his desk.
She ventured into the room, looking to see what held his attention so strongly. A ripple of unease went from head to toe as she recognized the staff profile page from Xander’s firm. Up front and center was a photograph of Rachelle. Olivia’s hands curled into impotent fists as she forced herself to breathe out the tension that gripped her. One by one, she uncurled her fingers.
“It’s steak Diane. Would you like me to bring a tray out to you here?”
“Trying to butter me up?” he asked, finally turning to look up at her. A cynical smile twisted his lips.
“No. Well, not entirely. I’m not sure that any food could make up for the shock you had today. I’m sorry, Xander. I meant to tell you sooner. I just...couldn’t.”
Xander rubbed at his eyes wearily. “I guess it’s not the kind of conversation you have on an everyday basis with a convalescent husband, is it?”
Olivia felt the tight set of her shoulders ease a fraction. It was an olive branch. One she’d grasp with both hands.
“Come, eat,” she implored, gingerly putting a hand on his shoulder.
He lifted his hand and briefly laid it over hers. “I’ll be through in a minute. Just let me shut everything down.”
She wanted to stay and wait for him. To ask him if he’d discovered whatever it was he’d been looking for, but she knew she’d be pushing her luck. Slowly, she walked back to the kitchen and plated up their meal. All the while, the image of Rachelle’s profile photo burned through her mind. Why was he looking at it? Was he remembering what they’d been to each other? Were his feelings for the other woman resurfacing? Thinking about losing Xander again just killed her inside.
The past weeks had taught her they belonged together, now more than ever. She loved him with every breath in her body, every movement, every thought. She just had to prove it.
* * *
Xander was surprised when Olivia went up to bed ahead of him. Then again, she hadn’t slept half the afternoon away like he had. She’d been on tenterhooks all night, and he’d had the impression she’d been on the verge of saying or asking something several times, only to back down at the last minute.