“Right,” she said awkwardly, before nodding to herself. “I’ll be out for the morning. Do you have everything you need?”
Sam’s gaze remained fixed on her lips for several full seconds before he raised it to meet her eyes. “For now,” he said. “Thanks.”
He rose from his seat and took his plates to the sink.
“Oh, don’t. Seriously, you don’t need to do that,” Erin protested.
“I’m quite capable of rinsing a couple of dishes.”
“Well, if you’re sure you don’t mind,” she said, catching her lower lip between her teeth.
“Hey, if I minded I wouldn’t be doing it, okay?”
She gave that little nod again. “I’m heading into town with Riley but I’ll be back by lunchtime.”
“Whatever. I can see to myself if you’re not back on time.”
“But—”
She looked as if she was about to protest again but Sam raised a hand. “One of your promises on your website is that you create a home away from home here at Connell Lodge. At home, I pretty much look after myself so I’m comfortable doing the same here, within limits,” he finished with a smile.
“All right, I believe you.” She smiled in return, but he noticed it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Erin started to leave the room but he called her name, stopping her in her tracks. When she turned to face him he raised a hand to her face, touching her cheek ever so softly with the knuckle of his index finger.
“Take care on the road, okay?”
“I will,” she murmured. “I definitely will.”
* * *
It had been a week since their kiss. A week loaded with confusing yet exhilarating thoughts and feelings. Seven days punctuated with accidental touches and, Erin suspected, some not-so-accidental touches that had left her nerves strung deliciously taut in a way she’d never experienced before.
They hadn’t kissed again, and Erin found herself reliving that encounter at odd moments of the day. Reliving it and wanting to repeat it.
Even the other night, when they’d both been on the floor in the library with Riley lying between them. The lights had been low and the fire blazing from behind a protective screen—creating an ambiance that had locked the three of them together in a contented cocoon. They’d been laughing indulgently together when they’d realized Riley had drifted off to sleep, and their eyes had met. Anticipation had thrilled through her as their gazes locked, as Sam had leaned forward just that much that she’d instinctively copied his motion until their bodies had formed an arch over the slumbering child between them. She’d parted her lips ever so slightly, watched as his eyes had dropped to her mouth. Her heartbeat had kicked up a notch. But then Sam had pulled away and made some excuse about attending to work.
His rather rapid departure had done nothing to cool her blood or what she openly acknowledged now as a fast-growing desire for him. A desire that ensured Sam Thornton occupied the better part of her waking thoughts—and her sleeping ones, if truth be told. She felt as giddy as a teenager embarking on a first love.
And was it her first love? She’d spent a lot of time soul-searching in the quieter moments of the past few days, asking herself over and over again if that was true. The painful facts had been a sobering realization. One that made her not like herself terribly much.
She knew she hadn’t loved James the way she ought to have. In retrospect, she could see how he’d appealed to her. He was older, very stable, very sure of himself in his world. His interest in her had grown during the time she’d worked here, after she’d escaped from the mess she’d made of her life in Sacramento. By the time he’d asked her to marry him she’d convinced herself she must love him. In reality, she’d loved what he represented more. She’d clung to his interest in her—to his offer of marriage and a respectable, stable, secure life—with both hands and held on fast.
So fast, she’d eventually strangled the life out of any chance of a true marriage together. Fixated on creating the perfect home, the perfect marriage, the perfect family, Erin had eventually driven away the man who could have made that all possible. Driven him straight into the arms of a woman who had offered him the kind of uncomplicated and loving relationship he’d had every right to expect from his wife.
Erin had one chance now, to make good to James the promise she’d made as he’d struggled for his final breaths—that she’d bring Riley up here at Connell Lodge. That she’d infuse in him the love for the place his father had always had and his forefathers before him.