Any relief I felt over that idea was quickly chased away by sadness. “At least the world will know,” I agreed.
I just wished Lucian were able to know it too.
“Everything okay?” Birdie asked as I kicked off my shoes and hung up the shawl I’d worn for the evening.
“I’m fine,” I assured her. “It’s just… a lot.”
“I know,” she said softly. “Kinda bittersweet, huh?”
I nodded.
“Want to eat ice cream and stay up late watching stupid reality TV?” she asked.
“Thanks.” I gave her a weak smile. “But I just want a warm shower and my bed.”
“I get it.” She yawned. “I think I’ll probably crash too then.”
She gave me a hug, and I said good night to Ace, who had resumed his residency on the sofa. It had been a couple of weeks since the car incident, but he still wasn’t any closer to figuring out who it was.
While Lucian did, in fact, have a security system, it wasn’t much help when the person on the screen was wearing a mask. We still had no idea who messed with the car, but I couldn’t get it out of my mind. There were only two logical conclusions to draw.
Nolan was right, and this was just the beginning of the storm I hadn’t battened down for. It could have been a nut following one of Lucian’s cases, or it could have been one of the men Birdie had stolen from. There was really no way to know for sure, and to that end, I couldn’t rule out any of the enemies I’d made over the years either.
Regardless, there wasn’t much I could do about it right now. The only options at our disposal were running or trusting Ace, and running wasn’t an option anymore.
I slipped into a hot shower and washed the day off me for a solid twenty minutes before my eyes were too heavy to stay inside any longer. I toweled off quickly and dressed in one of Lucian’s old tee shirts before crawling into bed.
I was exhausted, but the moment my head hit the pillow, the day caught up with me. Sleep evaded me while I played everything over and over in my mind, wondering if Lucian would hate what I’d written. If he’d be embarrassed to be on display like that in print. I couldn’t tell anymore. But I tossed and turned for half the night, somewhere between consciousness and sleep when I realized there was someone else in the room.
“Birdie?” I called out. “Is that you?”
There was no answer, even when I sat up and looked at the silhouette in the doorway.
“Birdie?” I choked out.
But it wasn’t Birdie. I knew that much. It was a man. A tall, imposing figure that left me paralyzed with fear as I scrambled from the bed and put as much distance between us as I could.
I trembled and wrapped my arms around myself. “Whoever you are, there are men outside. If they find out you’re in here—”
The light switched on, and all the air punched its way out of my lungs when I met the dark gaze of the man who had come to visit me in the dead of night.
“Lucian?” I brought a hand to my mouth in disbelief, shaking with fear that this wasn’t real. That I was dreaming, and if I moved even an inch, he would disappear.
He didn’t say a word. He seemed lost, confused, and completely unable or unwilling to remove his eyes from the bulging belly I now carried. He was thinner than I’d last seen him. The darkness under his eyes more prominent. And he was wearing a hat. I couldn’t ever remember him wearing a hat before.
“This isn’t real,” I whispered as I shook my head. “This isn’t real. It isn’t.”
He looked at me then, the cold in his eyes penetrating me even from where he stood. “I’m sorry to inform you that I’m not dead.”
A sob erupted from my throat, and he moved toward me with purpose, but something was wrong. This wasn’t the Lucian who had left me. This was the Lucian who had been stitched together with injustice and rage over the years.
The first touch of his hand around my arm fried all my nerve endings and short-circuited my brain. “I don’t understand,” I cried as he took possession of me. “How is this happening?”
“I thought I taught you that you don’t always get what you want,” he said callously. “But I guess you never learned.”
The viciousness of his words penetrated me like a knife, but before I could dig into his anger, our privacy was shattered by the intrusion of Birdie.
“What the… fuck?” she shouted. “What is going on?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I have no idea.”
“How did he get in here?” she demanded. “Is that really him?”
“Yes,” Ace muttered from behind her as he entered the room. “It’s really him, and I let him in. Now do you mind?” He gestured for Birdie to follow him, but she didn’t move.