“For passing my test?”
“For the other thing you forgot to mention.” He leaned over and kissed me. “Happy Birthday, pet.”
My chest cavity flooded with warmth, and I felt like I was going to cry as I examined the present on the counter. The last time anyone had given me a real present was before my mom left. When we got older, Birdie would steal me a Twinkie or something, and that was always sacred to me, but this was something else. This was a gift from Lucian, who had remembered my birthday even when he was working himself to death.
“Is that why you took the day off?” I asked.
“Yes,” he answered. “You’re stuck with me for the entire day.”
“That’s why you let me sleep in,” I smirked.
He gestured to the present. “Are you going to open it?”
I brought my trembling fingers to the bag and delved inside, retrieving two separate, small boxes.
The first one that I opened was a simple bar necklace with an engraving of a scripture, Isaiah 43:2. I looked at Lucian in question, and his voice was thick when he spoke.
“There will come a day when you will want to leave me,” he said solemnly. “I’m prepared for it, and I won’t blame you for it. It’s important to me that you know you have nothing to regret. When you do walk away, I want you to carry no shame or guilt.”
Tears burned my eyes as I shook my head, unable to give voice to the words I wanted to say. That was never going to happen. I was so certain of it at that moment, and I wanted to hate him for bringing it up. This wasn’t a birthday gift. It was a goodbye gift.
“Gypsy.” He stood and wrapped his arms around me, cocooning me against his chest as he buried his face in my hair. “I want you to know that no matter what happens, I love you.”
My heart slammed against my rib cage, and the tears I’d tried to hold back fell freely. I didn’t understand him. It always felt like he was preparing to send me away yet desperately trying to hold on at the same time. I couldn’t return his words. I was terrified and hurt and warm and vulnerable. He’d said the words I never knew I wanted to hear from him more than anything, but they came with a price much steeper than I wanted to pay. Those words were conditional. They weren’t timeless. There was a limit to how much he could love me, and for how long, but I just didn’t know what those limits were.
“Please open the other box,” he said.
I turned away from him and wiped my tears privately, gathering myself together for the next uncertainty he might spring on me. But when I opened the box, there was nothing more than a piece of paper folded together with a scribble inside.
Thank you.
Lucian didn’t explain what it meant. Instead, he showed me, lifting his shirt to reveal the fresh tattoo on his chest. It was my name, concealed in the outline of a sparrow, perched upon a morning glory. The entire image was inked in blue, and it had stolen my breath.
“I know you’re thinking the worst,” Lucian murmured as he brought my fingers to his skin. “You always do. But this is my promise that for as long as I live, and even in death, you will be a part of me.”
“I HATE DOCTOR’S OFFICES.” BIRDIE removed a tongue depressor from the jar on the counter for her own amusement.
“You didn’t have to come with me,” I grumbled.
She’d been here for two days, and already, she was taking over my life again.
“What else would I do?” She popped her bubblegum. “Sit at Lucian’s house since you won’t let me go anywhere else on my own?”
“It’s for your own protection,” I snapped.
Birdie blinked at me and shook her head. “You’re cranky.”
“I’m not cranky. I’m nervous.”
I hated doctor’s offices too. I always imagined the worst and usually never worked up the courage to go because I was certain they were going to diagnose me with some incurable condition.
“Do you think it’s a thyroid problem?” Birdie prodded.
“Why would you say that?”
She poked my stomach with her tongue depressor. “You’ve gotten a little soft around the middle. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Gee, thanks, B. I can feel the sisterly love.”
She scrunched up her nose and shot me a playful smile. “You know I’m just joking around. I’d love you no matter what you looked like.”
“Even if I had a huge growth on my face that couldn’t be removed?” I teased.
Birdie made a gagging noise but managed a nod. “Sure, even then.”
She plucked a cotton ball from another jar and tossed it at me right before the doctor entered.
“Having some fun, I see?” the doctor muttered her disapproval.