“You two are really good friends, huh?”
“Yeah.” Alex settled back into his chair. “We’ve known each other a long time. Both played football, but it was Pop who kind of created this safe space.” His mouth twisted. “He had a habit of picking up strays, and Lucas had his own reasons for wanting a place he could be himself fully.”
Every conversation they had continued to flesh out the picture of his life. She fiddled with her fork. “It’s hard when they leave us, isn’t it?”
Alex tensed, and seemed to force himself to relax. “Yeah. Though Pop is still alive, enjoying the hell out of his retirement in Mexico.”
She almost asked how he felt about that, if he considered it an abandonment akin to his parents, but bit the question back at last moment. If he wanted to talk about that, she was more than happy to do so, but it was pure selfishness to ask him to crack himself open for her. Instead, she said, “Retirement sounds like a dream right now.”
“Your job that bad?”
Kendall started to give her usual response that it wasn’t that bad. She gave herself a shake. “The company has three hotels in the city and corporate likes to have their hands in everything whether they’re qualified to make those calls or not. It’s not so terrible all the time, but they continually pass me over for a promotion when they invariably run the most recent sales manager off. I have a lot of ideas for what could really elevate our hotels and set us apart, but while they’re okay with me carrying the bulk of the sales responsibilities, they don’t actually care what I have to say.” It was the first time she’d spoken that truth aloud. Kendall put a brave face on for her sisters and her friends. She was living the dream in New York in a job that she mostly loved. What right did she have to complain about the things that didn’t go well?
“What will you do if they pass you over again?”
Trust Alex to get right to the heart of it. She gave a helpless shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t really have a backup plan at this point, and the hotel will suffer without me. I’d hate to see the rest of the staff punished because I didn’t get what I want.”
He watched her with those blue eyes that always seemed to see too much. “Do you always make decisions based on how it will affect other people, even at the expense of yourself?”
She started to say that it wasn’t at her expense, but Kendall couldn’t lie in this moment. Not to herself and not to him. “Pretty much.” She cleared her throat. “You know what it’s like to have a grandparent take over raising you. They’ve already done the work raising a child to adulthood. Now they have to do it again, and even though my grandmother was strong and took over without missing a step, I couldn’t help feeling like I was unwanted.” She held up a hand. “Grams never, ever, made me feel that way. She’s probably turning over in her grave right now to hear me say it, but I can’t help the way I felt.”
Alex gave a tight smile. “I hear you on the unwanted feeling, but we dealt with it in very different ways.”
He acted out. She folded herself up until she fit perfectly within the boundaries of other people’s expectations. “Yeah, I guess we did.” She ran her hand down his arm. “Maybe we can learn from each other?”
“Maybe.” Something in his tone made her wonder if it wasn’t better to change the subject. They might be all up in their feelings right now over each other, but if his wounds from the past were anything like hers, they ran plenty deep. She didn’t want to trample all over them in her effort to get closer to him.
Kendall turned the conversation to lighter topics as they ate, and Alex let her do it. It didn’t take long for the tension to fade from his shoulders and for him to be laughing. As the last of their meal was cleared away, she leaned back in her chair and smiled at him. “This has been really, really nice.”
“It has, hasn’t it?” His smile turned wicked. “Want to get out of here?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
* * *
Alex planned on taking Kendall back to his cabin, but she led him up to the deck. At his questioning look, she gave him a bright smile. “The sky seems so much bigger down here than it is in the city. I want to soak it in.”
“Pop has a thing for falling stars. He’s a superstitious old bastard.” He chuckled. “When he was still in town, he’d drag me—and sometimes Lucas out of town to watch meteor showers. Made a whole lot of wishes on those nights.”