“No.” Tink catches me around the wrist. “If you’re willing to trust me on this, then I’m willing to trust you. No more condoms.” She presses my fingers deep. “Finger fuck your come into me, Jameson. Make me messy.”
Jesus fuck. I lean down and kiss her hard, and then I do exactly as she wants. She lifts her hips to take my fingers deeper. Wanton woman. She’ll take whatever I give her and demand more. Loving this woman will never be easy. I can’t think about any of it too closely.
Admitting I love her is easy, as simple as exhaling after holding my breath. Dealing with what that looks like in life? Accepting she’s now a target for every single one of my enemies? Acknowledging how fucking vulnerable this makes me?
I can’t handle it. I don’t want to. Not with her riding my fingers as if she didn’t just have an earthshaking orgasm a few minutes ago. So I shove it away. I’m good at that, at not thinking too closely about things I’d rather not.
Instead, I focus on making Tink come again.
And again.
And again.
Chapter 19
Tink
Somewhere between orgasm four and five, I almost forget Hook’s damning words. Love. He can’t possibly love me. Yes, we’ve known each other for years at this point. Yes, there might be more than just white-hot attraction between us. But … love?
Impossible.
He presses a kiss to my lips and disappears into the bathroom. A few seconds later, the shower turns on, but I don’t have the energy to try to join him. I’m not even sure my legs will hold me if I attempted it, and the thought of him walking out to find my naked ass sprawled on the floor in some testament to his virility is too much for my pride.
The buzzing of my phone distracts me, and for one heart-stopping moment, I’m sure it’s him.
But no, when I crawl to the nightstand and pick it up, I see Meg’s name flashing across the screen. Grateful for the distraction, I answer. “Hey, Meg.”
“I need you to come in.”
I blink. She sounds almost … worried. “What’s going on?”
“Bring your strapping new husband, too. This concerns him as well.” She doesn’t even put an ironic tilt to Hook’s new title. That’s how I know it’s serious. That and the fact she’s calling me before ten in the morning.
“Okay, we’ll be there.”
“Good.” She hangs up.
Apparently my plan to avoid Hook for the foreseeable future while I get my head on straight isn’t going to happen. No one refuses a call to the Underworld—not even the leader of a territory. Especially one potentially in contention like ours.
Ours.
I sit up. This isn’t my territory. Not really, wedding ring or no. Feeling possessive of it when I’ve spent the entirety of my time locked in one room or another. Even before, Peter only trotted me out when he wanted to show off or prove a point. Hook might not share the same motivations, but it doesn’t change the end result.
I’m a figurehead.
The thought doesn’t sit well with me. I press my hand to my chest, but naturally the physical move doesn’t alleviate the strange ache beneath my ribcage. I know better by now. Wanting something of my own—it’s what got me into this mess to begin with. Promises of safety, of family, of a home. None of those things are for me. Wanting them is a weakness I can’t afford.
And yet …
And yet.
I manage to get my legs in gear and walk into the bathroom to find Hook standing in front of the mirror, a towel wrapped around his waist. I stop short. I’m not shy. Even before this marriage, he’s seen me naked more times than I can count.
He never told me he loved me before, though.
Just like that, it’s back. The panic fluttering at the base of my throat. I can’t do this. Why did I think I could do this? I start to turn for the door, but his low voice stops me. “Who was on the phone?”
I mentally lunge for the lifesaver he just threw me. Easier to focus on this than on what went down in our bed not too long ago. “Meg. She wants us to come in to the Underworld. It sounded important.”
His mouth goes flat. “I’m not Hades’s lap dog.”
Save me from the male ego. I understand his point of view on this. All leaders in Carver City engage in a delicate dance of power with Hades. One wrong step can mean complete ruin for everyone involved. I give Hook a long look, holding his gaze in the mirror. “Are you willing to let the appearance of power potentially keep you from important information?”
“Appearance of power is power, Tink. I’m already balancing on a knife’s edge. You know that better than anyone.”