I’m aware of Meg watching us closely, ready to step in. I could tell her that her interference is unnecessary, but I won’t waste my breath. In the end, I don’t give a shit about Meg’s comfort. I only care about Tink’s.
I can bring her back from the edge. We’ve already started, though I’m certain she’ll slide right back into that numbness the second her mind wanders. Dominating her now will help, but it’s a Band-Aid, and it also runs the risk of her checking out completely. No, inciting her to fight me is just as likely to harm as it is to make anything better.
“Give us a minute, Meg.” I still don’t look over.
Meg hesitates but finally takes a step back. “Mind the cameras.” With the reminder that someone will be watching should things get out of hand, she turns and leaves the room.
I barely wait for the door to swing shut to pull Tink into a hug.
Tink goes rigid. “What the hell are you doing?”
“It’s called comfort.” I don’t let go. She’s not fighting me; she’s fighting herself. I lean down a little and speak directly in her ear. “No one’s here but us. You don’t have to be strong right now. Let it out.”
“Fuck … you.” The last word comes out as a sob. Then her arms are around my waist, and she buries her face against my chest.
I hold her as she shakes. She was right before. There’s no fixing this completely, even if everything is replaced. What Peter did is a violation as surely as if he reached across the distance and struck her. He’d made her feel unsafe.
She fists the fabric of my shirt at my back. “I hate him.”
“I know, beautiful girl.” I hug her tighter. I might not always say the right thing, but I sure as shit know how to comfort with my body, even when fucking isn’t on the table. Sex isn’t what she needs right now. She needs someone to lean on, just a little bit, until she gets her feet under her again.
Heaven help Peter once that happens.
I press a kiss to her temple. “We’re moving up the timetable.”
“I didn’t know there was a timetable,” she says against my chest.
“Give me a little credit.”
She hesitates and gives a tiny, pathetic chuckle. “A tiny smidge of credit.”
“I’ll take what I can get.” I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me, but I keep talking. “You can stay here while I handle this.”
“What?”
I roll right over her protest. “You’re safe in my home, but you’re safer here.”
“Did you miss the part where Peter got to my things here?” She clings tighter to me, still twisting the fabric of my shirt. “You asshole, you can’t honestly think I’m safer here than I am with you.”
“We both know that Hades and Allecto are taking this breach personally and will do everything in their considerable power to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.” Peter wouldn’t risk coming here again. That I’m sure of.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
I force myself to take her shoulders and nudge her back a step so she can meet my eyes. “No, Tink. I don’t think you’re safer anywhere more than you are with me. Because I know for a fact that I’ll do whatever it takes, no matter the cost, to keep you that way.” I should have stopped ten minutes ago, should have had the control to keep my mouth shut when she’s already reeling from me dropping “I love you” this morning. Too fucking much, too fucking soon. I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to this woman.
She licks her lips. “You really meant it this morning, didn’t you?”
No need to ask for clarification. She’s thinking about the same thing I am. “Yes.”
“Wow.” She huffs out a sad little laugh. “We are so fucked up.”
I can’t exactly argue the point, but … “What makes you say that?”
“You insist on seeing parts of me I’m not willing to show anyone, on seeing me as a whole. And no matter how often or hard I push you away, you bounce back like a goddamn frisbee.”
“Pretty sure frisbees don’t bounce.”
“I’m not finished.” She reaches up and traces her thumb along my bottom lip, pausing at my piercing before continuing. “I should want a normal person. Maybe not the white picket fence dream, but stability. Someone who isn’t a criminal.”
“Probably.” I can’t argue this either. This woman deserves the world. I know I’m not good enough for her. I made my peace with that a long time ago. “But that normal person isn’t going to understand you the way I do.”
“That’s the crux, isn’t it?” Her smile turns bittersweet. “When the wolf comes howling for blood at my door, you’re the one who will meet him there with an ax. Only a monster can kill a monster.”