Her fingers tangle together in her lap, and she seems to consider that before she makes her own suggestion. “Or we could just run, Lev. We could run to another city and never look back. Farther than Boston. We could go anywhere. California. Texas. A place where none of this exists.”
I lean forward and wrap my fingers around hers, tugging her up and onto my lap. She relaxes into my chest, curling her legs between mine.
“Running isn’t an option, sweetheart.” I stroke her arm and bury my face into her neck. “I think you already know that. The only way to fix this is to face it head-on.”
“Are you talking about going to war with Vasily?” she croaks.
“I don’t know yet.” My grip on her tightens. “But if that’s what it comes down to—”
“You have a family now,” she bites out. “That’s what you keep telling me. Your job is to protect us. To stay with us.”
When her voice fractures, I drag my lips up to hers. “Shh, baby. I know.”
We’re both quiet for a while, lost in our own thoughts, before Kat speaks again.
“Is Andrei the one who killed Nina?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m glad he’s dead,” she whispers.
“Me too.” I close my eyes and breathe her in.
While I might be glad that the world is rid of Andrei, I’m also aware of the shitstorm his death will rain down on us. And I think it’s time that Kat understands that too. Going forward, I need her to be strong. I need her to trust that I’m doing what’s necessary, even if she may not like it.
“I know you have some questions. Perhaps now is the time to ask them.”
She looks up at me, curious, and I think… relieved. “Will you be honest with me?”
“Yes.”
She grazes her fingers over my forearm, the smallest gesture of affection, and I don’t even think she realizes she’s doing it. But I do. And it means more than she could ever know.
“Is Vasily the head of your mafia family?” she asks.
“No. He’s what you would call a captain, if you will. He controls men beneath him, but he also reports to someone else.”
“So he’s powerful,” she notes. “But he answers to someone else. Does that mean the man in charge will want us dead too?”
“Not likely,” I tell her. “I doubt he’s even aware of what’s happening right now. Of course, Andrei’s death might raise some questions, but Vasily isn’t going to bring this to his boss. He handles things like this on his own, often under the radar of official Vor business. He’d have to be pretty desperate to take this all the way to the top.”
Kat turns to study me. “How did you even get into this life?”
“It wasn’t a conscious choice,” I say. “My mother was killed when I was fifteen. My father was already gone. Vasily was the only family I had left. He took me in, and I became indebted to him for that. The rest… it just happened.”
“But there must be a reason you’ve stayed all these years,” she presses. “If you don’t even like him.”
I scratch at the stubble on my jaw and shake my head. “We have a complicated relationship. I don’t think I ever really trusted him, but I felt I owed him. And I did respect him at one time. But whatever loyalty I may have had for him is gone now.”
I intentionally leave out the part about my mother, deciding it best for now not to mention it to Kat. At least not until this is over. I don’t want her to doubt my motivations.
“So, if you are his nephew, then what does that make you?” she asks. “How do you fit into the mafia?”
“Officially? I don’t.” I shrug. “Vasily never asked me to be inducted. I think he liked having his own control over me. I am connected only through him.”
“And Alexei,” she observes.
“He is my cousin. And yes, he is also a Vor, but he is a good man. We can trust him.”
“Can I trust you?”
Her question robs the breath from my lungs.
“I am here to protect you now, sweetheart. Please don’t ever doubt that.”
“But those weren’t always your intentions,” she argues. “Andrei said you were supposed to kill me.”
My jaw flexes, and her eyes feel like they are penetrating deep into my soul as she waits for me to explain this to her.
“I was sent to kill you,” I confirm. “But I didn’t. Because the moment I saw you again, I fucking knew, even before Josh, that you were meant to be mine.”
“How can I trust that?” she chokes out. “If you even considered it—”
“Because I would sooner put a bullet in my own head, Katya.” I force her back against me when she tries to pull away. “I’m in this now. Don’t you understand? I’ve left everything behind. I betrayed my blood. I killed my own cousin. And I would do it all again to protect this life I’m building with you.”