He moved his hand over Ana’s back, felt her warmth. Her breath. Her life. She was not cold. She was not gone.
She would hear the song. She would take comfort in it.
He took a breath. “Stella stellina, la notte se avvicina.” She quieted at the sound of his voice, her wide eyes trained on his face. His chest felt tight, his throat threatening to close, but he kept on. Up until the end. “Nel cuorre della mamma.”
And all are sleeping in the mother’s heart.
Ana rested her head on his chest, relaxed her body against him. And he put his cheek on top of her feather-soft head.
“Papa’s heart, too,” he said, without thinking.
His own words jolted him back to reality. Ana didn’t have a father. He certainly couldn’t fill that place in her life. He couldn’t fill the place at Paige’s side, either. A husband. A father. He wasn’t meant to be either of those things.
He had nothing in him to give. A few moments in a rocking chair, a song, didn’t change that. He was bound up too tight, everything in him ordered, set, unable to be moved. If he opened up at all, if he changed one thing, he was afraid it would all collapse. Afraid that his control would slip. That the pain, the ugliness, that lived in him would be unleashed on the innocent people around him.
That couldn’t happen. Not ever.
Still, he stayed, in this moment outside of reality. A quiet moment, the kind a man like him had never been given before. To hold someone so helpless, so precious, who trusted him so completely for no other reason than that life had always handed her people who cared for her. Because she had never been touched by someone who intended evil.
He wasn’t the kind of man who prayed, but in that moment, he prayed that she never was.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
IT was her wedding day. Strange because she’d never given a lot of thought to her wedding day. Although, when her mind had wandered to the event she’d imagined—the very few times she’d imagined anything—a lot of color.
Glitter, naturally. Having some friends and family present, no matter how fraught the relationship, would have been nice, too.
But she’d opted out of it because she simply hadn’t told her parents, or siblings, that she was engaged, so that made it easy.
And now, in her gorgeous but sedate satin gown, with her hair pinned up, so that her pink stripe was covered, as commanded by the hairdresser, she felt a little sad about her lack of support. About the fact that she hadn’t put more of her own personal stamp on things.
Which was stupid, because this was a very temporary marriage to a man who meant nothing to her. A man who was just her boss. And who was just the most fascinating, interesting, sexy man she’d ever met. And who was, oh, yeah, also her lover.
So there was that, too, but it was still no big deal and not worth getting worked up over.
Too bad she was worked up.
She blamed some of the worked up on getting out of the shower last night and finding Dante sitting in the rocking chair, holding Ana against his chest. Singing.
That had made something crack apart in her chest. Had left her feeling vulnerable, tender. Different.
She took a deep breath and bunched up handfuls of her slippery skirt. She didn’t have time to get all moony. Ana was already in the church, with Genevieve who was acting as an attendant and babysitter. They’d opted to include Ana in the ceremony because, honestly, the party was for her. The whole thing was for her.
Paige hoped, sincerely, that Ana never doubted how loved she was. Because this was nothing, only a small piece of what she was willing to go through in order to secure her daughter’s safety and happiness. In order to keep her in her life.
She would walk through fire. All today required was a corset and mascara. And some vows. In a church.
So maybe she would walk through fire for all this eventually.
At least now she felt equipped to do it. Felt like she had the strength. She didn’t know what had happened to her over the past few weeks, but something in her had changed. She wasn’t afraid that everything she touched would turn to sand and blow away in the wind. Wasn’t afraid that she was destined to fail. She felt…powerful. Like she had the power to do what had to be done.
“Ms. Harper?” The wedding planner, the one who had thrown everything together at the last minute without batting an eye, poked her head into the waiting area Paige was standing in.