Unable to watch her suffer alone, Sam reached across for her hand, which she quickly pulled away. The rejection wasn’t a surprise. Knowing Tara would rather face this unknown future with Marley’s medical issue than accept his touch stung...but why had he expected her to let him in? He deserved nothing.
“What can we do for her?” Tara swiped at her damp cheeks before smoothing her wavy hair behind her shoulders. “How can we make her memories return?”
“You’re going to want to make her life as stress-free as possible,” Dr. Benson stated simply. “Right now she’s floating around the time frame when she was about three or so. She’s a happy girl. When I asked about her home life to see what she recalled, she mentioned her dog, Daisy, that the two of you just got married and that you guys were planning a beach vacation.”
Sam’s heart sank. She’d been at the altar with them when they married—that was one thing he’d insisted on. Her dog had been hit by a car when Sam hadn’t fixed the back door and she’d gotten out and darted after a stray cat. And that beach vacation was supposed to have taken place right after she turned four. Everything happy in her memory bank had been tarnished. He’d done that. He’d ruined her childhood.
When pills had overtaken Sam’s life, taking priority over his family, and he’d missed her fourth birthday party, Tara had officially had enough and kicked him out. There had gone the loving beach vacation as a family.
“I’d say with a stable home life and doing what you always did as a family, Marley will have a better chance at regaining her memories. But whatever was going on when she was three will have to be going on now, I’m afraid. Slowly her memory should return, but the mind is so complex, we just don’t know.”
Sam’s thoughts tumbled into each other as he tried to figure out exactly what all of this meant. Dr. Benson had no clue he and Tara were separated, and at the time Marley was three their family hadn’t quite started falling apart yet. So as far as his daughter was concerned, her parents were still happily married and Daisy the faithful dog was alive and well.
Damn it.
Perhaps they could find a new Daisy dog for her. But the marriage? He didn’t want to make things more difficult for Tara. If she was constantly questioned...it would make a bad situation even more uncomfortable. There was no way he would make her life that much more unbearable. From the moment he’d gotten clean and sober, Sam had vowed to do whatever he could to make Tara’s and Marley’s lives better...even if that meant he wasn’t living under the same roof...though that was exactly what he wanted. More than anything.
Tara might have pushed him out of their home, out of the marriage, but that act of tough love had been the exact slap in the face he’d needed to make him seek help. Losing his family, his life, had utterly destroyed him.
Sam had always heard the term rock bottom, and losing everything he held precious had no doubt been his bottom. Through counseling, he realized now that no one could heal him until he actually wanted to be healed. Damn, he’d been so selfish for so long.
Would they all be in this predicament if he hadn’t turned to pills to cope with life? Would his daughter be fine?
He honestly had no reason to think this was his fault, but he needed to place the blame somewhere and his shoulders already carried the brunt of the load of his screwed-up life.
“When can I take her home?” Tara asked, cutting into his wandering thoughts.
I. Not we.
Sam wasn’t about to correct her, not here. But there was no way he’d let either of the ladies he loved go through this without him. He would be the foundation in this family once again and he’d make damn sure Marley got the best care and recovered fully. Clearly, Tara didn’t want him around, but that was too damn bad. Not only did Marley need taking care of, but Tara couldn’t do all of this alone—and she shouldn’t have to.
Above his need to prove to Tara that he was a different man, their little girl and her condition had to come first. Those initial goals after becoming sober were now completely different. Sam hated the thought of telling his innocent daughter what had happened. She was so young. How could she possibly understand what all of this meant? He was thirty-six and could barely wrap his mind around this whole amnesia thing himself.