I whimpered in response as his whiskey-tinged breath hit my face.
“I joined this fucking club to keep my family safe! Do you know what that was like for me? Do you?” His fist hit the bed near my shoulder and I flinched, but still raised my hand to cup his cheek. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, no matter how drunk or upset he was.
“My parents were killed, those fucking drug dealers were gunning for my sister, and I couldn’t do anything!” he yelled again. “I had to stand there and watch some fucker I didn’t know drive off with my sister because I couldn’t fucking protect her!”
“Okay, baby.” I whispered, regretting ever pushing him to that point.
“I had to do something! I had to make sure that I could protect Gram and Callie if I needed to.” He was still yelling as I ran my hand over the side of his head.
“Okay, baby,” I whispered again.
“I had to protect you! And now it’s all fucked up!” He raised his arm and slapped himself in the side of the head, the movement making me burst into hiccupping sobs.
“I had to kill that girl, Farrah! I had to kill her!” He pressed his fists into the bed, making my shoulders shake. “How the fuck could I do that? I came here so I could protect my women! How the fuck could I kill one?”
As he yelled, I heard Cecilia start to cry in Grease’s room next door, and my breasts immediately started to leak, soaking the front of my halter. Seconds later, someone started yelling and pounding on the door to his room, jiggling the locked handle.
“It’s okay, baby,” I said in a soothing tone, reaching up to try to pull his head down to mine. “It’s okay.”
“You’re sleeping with a fucking murderer, Farrah!” he bellowed, yanking his head out of my hands.
He reared back so he was sitting on my hips, and as he did, the door to his room was kicked open, and Slider, Dragon, and Grease came barreling through the doorway.
Chapter 43
Farrah
“Don’t!” I cried as Grease wrapped his arms around Cody, wrenching him from the bed.
“You okay?” Slider asked, deliberately avoiding looking at where I’d leaked through my white halter, making it practically transparent.
“I’m fine, we were just talking!” I yelled as Cody went limp against Grease, his eyes on mine. “We’re fine, baby. Right? We were just talking,” I called to him softly.
The look on his face made my stomach clench in fear.
“Why don’t you sleep in another room tonight, yeah?” Dragon said quietly to Cody. “Have a cooler head in the morning.”
I didn’t know why they were so worried, and it annoyed the hell out of me that they’d barged in when they had. Other couples in the club had knock-down, drag-out fights and they didn’t step in, so why the hell were they bothering us? Cody would rather cut off his own arm than take his anger out on a woman; it was the very reason we were yelling in the first place.
“No, I want you to stay with me!” I cried out, wrapping one arm around my chest as I knelt on the bed, reaching out for him.
“I’ll see you in the morning, Ladybug,” he told me gently, shrugging off Grease’s arm to come toward me. “You sleep in here with CeeCee. Okay, baby?”
“I want you to sleep with me,” I whispered back, wrapping my arms around his waist and digging my nails into his cut.
He shook his head. “Let’s talk again in the morning.”
“Why won’t you stay with me?” I whimpered, scared as hell for him to leave me with that look on his face. “We’ll just go to sleep, we don’t have to talk.”
The other men in the room were watching us closely, and I hated that they saw me like that. My mask was gone, it had shattered completely the day I’d given birth to Cecilia, leaving the emotions that I’d always kept hidden were out there for the world to see.
“I love you. Feed our daughter and get some sleep,” he ordered, leaning down to kiss me softly.
“I love you too. Please stay.”
He reached back to pull my hands from his cut and stepped back before turning to walk silently out of the room with Dragon and Grease, leaving Slider and me alone.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, sitting on the bed as Callie walked in with a pissed-off Cecilia in her arms.
“I told you I was fine,” I replied dully, taking the baby and throwing a receiving blanket over my shoulder before settling her at my breast. “We were just talking.”
“Yeah, well, it didn’t sound like talking,” he commented as Callie walked silently back out of the room.
“He was yelling, yes. But Cody would never hurt me.”
“I know that, baby girl.” Slider reached out to pat my knee. “But we heard enough of it. Boy’s got some messed-up shit in his head right now.”
“He’s—” My voice broke as I rubbed Cecilia’s tiny back. “He’s having a hard time with the stuff that happened in Portland.”
“Yeah, I figured as much, but tonight proved it.” He shook his head. “Me and the boys’ll have a word with him tonight, see if we can’t knock some sense into him.”
“You better not touch him or I’ll feed you your balls,” I said, completely serious.
“Shit, Farrah, I’m not gonna hurt the kid. Just need to get some shit straight with him. That clusterfuck in Portland was not his fault. Not in any way. Ramon’s daughter was a crazy bitch who shot me and would have killed me if she’d had the chance.”