Hundreds (Dollar 3)

Sparkles dusted over my skin. “Touch me then.” I inched forward, the white linen billowing around my legs.

He shot up, his hand out to halt me, backing away as if I wanted to give him poison and not a kiss. “No.”

“No?”

“No.” His eyes squeezed shut for a fraction of a second. He shook his head. “I told you. This was a one-time deal. I’m barely keeping it together, so stay over there and fucking accept that this is where this ends. Do you hear me?”

Cactus spikes and fish hooks stabbed at my arteries. “So this is over?”

He marched away, his legs not nearly as steady as he portrayed. “You want to label this?” He glared over his shoulder. “Fine. Yes, this is over. I am your rescuer. Nothing more. You have doctor’s appointments today that Selix will escort you to. You will be well looked after in my care. But tonight, when we’re back at sea and I tell you what I should’ve fucking told you yesterday, I doubt you’ll even wish to call me that.”

“What…what do you mean?”

“I mean I have information on your mother.”

I sucked in a gasp. Could that be true? Where was she? How was she? And why exactly did that knowledge fill me with dread rather than hope?

“You’re trying to get rid of me.”

He chuckled deep and dark. “Finally clicked, has it?”

I staggered back. “You’re being mean.”

“I’m always mean.” He smirked, showing sharp teeth. “Grow up, Pimlico. I’ve fucked you. You no longer interest me. Get over it and let me take you home.”

God, I hurt. I ached. “I-I don’t believe you.”

He’s lying…

“It’s not up to you. That’s the way it is.”

“You just told me you want me so much it hurts. That’s the truth but I think you’re trying to push me away because you believe I’m not strong enough to be in a meaningful physical relationship. That my past will somehow come back to haunt me and I’ll hate you.” I moved forward while he shot back. “Doesn’t last night show you how wrong that is? You scared me, Elder, but I’m still here. I’m still willing to talk to you. I’m begging you to talk to me. Please don’t cut me off.”

He slashed his hand in the air like a guillotine. “I’m done wasting time on this.”

“Well, I’m not.” I stood as haughty as a princess. “I need to know why you can stand there and lie to me! How can you shut me out when I’m the one with the fucked-up past and have the balls to face this together?”

Elder flew forward as if his dragon once again lent him lacy, scaly wings. His hand latched around my throat. He knew my aversion to my neck being touched yet he squeezed anyway.

The panic attack that always triggered tried to swallow me. The gaping chasms, the blustering winds—all telling me to go, go, go—to give into the breathlessness.

But if this was a trial, then I couldn’t fail. I had to show Elder what I said was real. That he could rely on me not to bail if only he would tell me the truth.

Gritting my teeth, I stood still, never looking away from his burning eyes. His jaw clenched as he allowed a landscape of aggression to paint his features.

And then, he was gone.

Tossing me away, he charged to the other side of the room. “This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me. You want the cold fucking truth?” He spun with his hands fisted and body braced. Black hair danced over his forehead, wild and tameless.

My heart shrivelled into a cranberry, tart and tiny. I nodded even though it took everything in me to face his wrath. “Yes.”

He shrugged, his face twisting into a sneer. “You’re not worth it.”

I wasn’t prepared for yet another sentence weapon. This one was a nuclear missile aimed straight for my soul. I shattered into hundreds of messy pieces.

I couldn’t—

I had no reply.

I was soundless. Wordless. Mute.

Elder laughed like the devil, his face torn apart by admission and anger. “Being with you fucked me up. Normally, I can handle temptation. Normally, I can remain sane. But you—” He pointed a trembling finger at me as if I was a witch and should burn at the stake. “You got inside my heart before you got inside my head, and it’s tearing me fucking apart!” Stalking toward the sideboard, he picked up a red and white vase and threw it across the room.

I flinched as it exploded on impact, sending porcelain everywhere.

“I’d give anything to fuck you again. I spent all night crippled with the need. I almost lost. So many fucking times. I almost came back to you and buried myself as far as I could inside you. But as I fantasised about fucking you and crawled on my hands and knees to the door, I remembered my promise. A promise to the dead who know when I break them. That was the only thing that kept me behind that door.” His eyes glittered. “The only thing, Pim.”