A child’s room.
A cute ruffle bedspread complete with carrousel floor lamp and shelving with Christmas in every cubby. Brand new toys sat in perfect packaging, waiting to be played with. A cream rocking horse, complete with silver mane and tail and baby blue saddle with reins waited to be ridden.
I backed away, my hand clamping over my mouth.
Oh, no…
Behind me was another room.
This one was taffy and butterscotch with a princess bed, child-size dollhouse, and a tower of bow-tied unopened boxes of Legos.
My heart literally broke.
Into pieces.
Into fractured tinkling pieces.
Wedging balled hands against my chest, I did my best to stop those pieces clinking together and giving away my trespass.
What did this mean?
What was this place?
Had Elder painstakingly designed each space for his cousins and aunts and uncles? Had he sent out invitations for them to join him, begging them to turn him from No One into someone again? Into an uncle…a son…?
Oh God, had he stood here, night after night, day after day with only shadows for company? How long had he sailed the seas with this agonising reminder that love had been stolen and never given back?
No wonder he fought me so hard on the subject.
No wonder he was so difficult, so prickly.
I choked on the blasphemy of family. I suffocated on the acidity of affection.
How did he survive it?
The relentless wishing for something he would never earn?
This was a secret I shouldn’t have seen. I collapsed into repentance.
All I wanted to do was embrace him. Kiss him. Show him his family might have forgotten him but I never would.
I would chase away the silence; I would scatter away the shadows. I would spend my life making sure he was never lonely again.
I have to get out of here.
What would he do if he knew I’d been down here? How would I look at him without seeing these empty unwanted rooms?
Inhaling hard, I tiptoed back the way I came.
It was late afternoon, and I still hadn’t heard from him.
Where was he?
What is he doing?
Pressing the button for the elevator, I fully intended to return to my room, shower away this terrible secret, and compartmentalize so Elder would never know. However, that was before a loud shout ripped my head up, directing my attention to the opposite way I’d explored.
A masculine shout.
A growl.
Followed by something smashing against a wall.
What on earth?
The lift arrived with a soft chime, but I drifted toward the raucous, jumping when another angry grunt shattered the quietness.
I didn’t want to see any more of Elder’s private pain, but I couldn’t stop myself.
Another shout followed by a male reply.
Elder and Selix?
I thought Elder’s office was on the upper levels, closer to his living quarters.
What’s he doing down here?
My toes ghosted over the off-white carpet, my black dress floating around my calves. I stepped lighter, wishing I could float so my breach of personal space would remain unheard.
I’d become a master at eavesdropping—thanks to doing my best to pre-empt what Alrik and his bastard friends would do next—but this time, I felt dirty trying to listen.
This conversation had nothing to do with me…
I should leave.
I didn’t.
Coming to a stop, the muffled shouts enunciated clearer through a closed door to my left. With my heart scrabbling up my throat, I pressed my ear against the wall.
“Not gonna happen, Selix. For fuck’s sake.”
Elder.
My tummy clenched just hearing his gorgeous timbre.
I really shouldn’t be doing this.
I battled with right and wrong. I even pulled back a little and glanced at the waiting elevator. But then one word made me slam my ear back into position, and I gave up any guilt at listening.
Chinmoku.
“They’ve found you. You realise that, right?” Selix asked.
“I’ve been well aware since my mother decided to stay in my home without telling me. Or have you not noticed the number of times I’ve been on the phone, arranging a human fortress to protect my family?”
“Of course, I’ve noticed. You’re not the only one running this shit show. All I’m saying is, I think we should turn back—head to the warehouse. If you’re going to do this, we need more ammunition on the Phantom.”
“There’s enough armament on this boat to sink ten Titanics,” Elder growled. “If they attack us on the ocean, we’ll win. I don’t care about that.”
“Then what the hell is your problem? You’ve been sour for days.”
“My problem is I don’t know what to do anymore. Sail home and fight the Chinmoku’s underling dogs who are toying with my family, or hold my ground and hunt the head of the pack from where I have the best advantage.”
“You already have your family protected better than you ever could on your own. It’s not just you who gets updates, Prest. I help juggle those security guys, and they’ve been telling you all along not to bother coming. The Chin’s are relying on you falling for their bait and being easier to kill on land.”