I pull up to my house and press the button for the garage and drive in. “I thought we were going to do this at the creek,” she says softly beside me.
“What I need to tell you can’t be said there,” I say, and she looks down at the cup in her hand.
“Is this your house?” she asks me and then looks at me.
“Yes,” I say. “Give me fifteen minutes, and if you still want to leave, I’ll take you home.”
She debates a bit and then opens the door. I get out with her and wait for her at the stairs that lead to the mud room. I open the door for her and wait for her to step in, and she doesn’t move from the entryway.
“This way,” I say and lead her from the mud room through the white kitchen toward the family room. It’s the room where we spend all our time. Her eyes roam around the room toward the back wall that holds the fireplace and the television on top of it, but her eyes pause on the framed pictures on the built-in shelves. Ethan’s first day at school. His first Christmas. Pictures of us fishing together. The pictures are all there, but one thing is clear. This is where I live with my son.
“I’m here,” she says, trying not to make eye contact with me. “What do you have to say?” I take a deep breath, and for the first time, I tell her my side of the story.
Chapter Eighteen
Kallie
I fell asleep with his kiss on my lips and my heart heavier than it’s ever been before. What I wasn’t expecting was for him to be there with me when I got up.
His eyes shine as he watched me, asking him to give him a chance to tell his side of the story. It was too little, too late, my brain screamed while my heart said to give him this one chance. I got in his truck with my mother’s words lingering in my mind. “He isn’t the only one keeping secrets, Kallie.”
No, he wasn’t, and before this day was over, he would know my secret. He would know it all. I looked out the window, watching the trees pass us by without saying a word, not realizing we were going so far out of the way until we pulled up to a white house with wooden slates around the big windows. We pull into the garage, and I know we are at his house. His house where he lives with his child and God knows who else. I don’t want to get out, but we need to have this talk. I follow him to the mud room, and I try not to look around and invade his privacy. We walk past the white kitchen on one side and a dining room table on the other with eight chairs. A schoolbag sits in the middle of the table with some papers stacked on top.
We walk into the family room, and my eyes go to the pictures on the shelves. Pictures of his life with his son. I try to calm my heart as I feel a panic attack coming on. In and out, I tell myself.
“I’m here,” I say to him, not looking at him. “What do you have to say?” He takes a deep breath, and I look at him.
“Jesus,” he says, putting his hand on his neck and looking up at the ceiling. “I’ve gone over this speech so many times in my head, but now that it’s here, I don’t even know where to start,” he says and laughs, but a tear comes out of his eyes. “Before I even start, I want to make one thing clear. I’ve never ever stopped loving you, even when I didn’t want to.”
“I think I need to sit down,” I say and slowly sit on the couch, facing him. He sits on the couch and rests his elbows on his knees. “You asked me before the biggest question, when did it happen?” he starts, and I suddenly think I’m going to be sick. Maybe I don’t want to know this. Maybe I should just accept that they were together. “The answer to that is—”
“Stop,” I say, and I silently sob. “I know I wanted to know, but I don’t think I can.”
“Never,” he whispers, and my head snaps back. “Never.” He shakes his head as tears pour out of him. “I was never with her.”
“What?” I ask him as my head spins. “I don’t …”
“Savannah came to me the night of prom and told me she was pregnant,” he says, his legs shaking now. “I was shocked. I had no idea she was dating anyone, let alone with someone.” I don’t know if I’m actually hearing this properly. “She was scared, petrified actually, and she had no idea what to do. Her mother was …” I put my hand up because I know exactly what her mother was. “She asked me to help her, and it just happened so fast. My head was spinning, and then you were there in front of me, and the whispers were already starting.”