“You have a fucking kid and didn’t think it was something to tell me?” He leans down, looking into my eyes, talking through his clenched teeth.
“I actually have two children. Matthew who is fifteen and Allison who is five.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? You fucking lied straight to my face.”
Okay, now I’m getting pissed. I didn’t technically ever lie to him, I just omitted it from our conversations.
“I never lied, the topic just never came up.”
“Never came up, are you fucking with me? We have been talking about everything for the last week and never ever have you mentioned that you have two kids. Don’t you think it’s something you should have mentioned?”
“Actually, no, I don’t think it is something I should have mentioned seeing as I wasn’t going to let the two worlds collide. So there was no reason to bring it up.”
“TWO. WORLDS. COLLIDE.” And with that, he leaves me here by myself on the ice looking at his ass as he skates away.
Well, I guess that is over. Why do I feel this pain inside my chest, this heaviness? I knew this was coming, but I still can’t help but feel sad. I actually liked him.
The rest of the day drags on with not one more run-in with Cooper. He didn’t even stop for his protein shake after his shower.
Matthew told me he said he was just going to grab something after. So I did what I do best. I continued and left it in my mind where I would think about it later. When I was alone by myself.
I didn’t even have the energy to text Meghan and let her know.
I arrive home at the same time that James is pulling into the driveway.
“Momma, Momma, Momma,” I hear Allison’s little voice and everything I did today is washed away with the sight of my girl. She runs over, launching herself into my arms. I go down and kiss her neck, making her giggle.
“Allison, Daddy is leaving. I’ll see you next week, okay? Matthew, call me later.” James tries to get her attention, but I haven’t seen her in five days. At her age she has a thousand stories to tell me.
I take it all in, waving to James as he heads out. We are together for five minutes before a black Range Rover enters the driveway. My stomach balls into a fist of pain. It’s tight, and I think I’m going to throw up.
Cooper gets out of the truck and when I look at him I’m blown away. I’ve seen him countless times at this point but each and every time I’m taken aback by his beauty.
He walks toward us. Allison looking over my shoulder at him, I brace myself for the end, because I know in that moment that I won’t ever be in his arms again.
He probably doesn’t want a mom when he can have anyone he wants. Someone without stretch marks, saggy boobs, or commitments. Someone who is free just for him. I will never be that person because I have two people I love more than my life, and my commitment is to them, always.
“Hey there, princess, what’s your name?” he asks, looking at Allison, who has put her head in my neck, something she does when she’s shy and unsure about things.
She looks up at him with her beautiful blue eyes, and I’m afraid that in the end we will both be heartbroken.
“I’m Awlison and I’m five,” she says from my neck, bringing her hand up and showing him her fingers.
He laughs at her. “You are very beautiful, just like your mom, you know that?”
She nods her head, looking at me. “Who are you?” she asks with the innocence only a child can have.
“I’m Cooper, a friend of your mom’s. She is helping me get better at hockey.”
That word friend, I don’t know why, but it guts me. It makes me want to shrink down. Friend. I haven’t hated that word more in my life than at this very minute.
“Baby girl, this is Cooper. He is coming to Mommy’s rink so I can help him. Actually, Matthew was helping me with him today.”
“Matthew is rwally good at hockey. You can’t beat him, he is the best.” She puts up her head, showing him exactly what team she will always be on.
He laughs, full on belly laughs at her.
“Yeah, he really is very, very good. Your mom trained him right. I’m hoping to be just as good as him.”
She struggles to get down.
“Allison, why don’t you bring your bag inside and ask Matthew what he wants for supper while I talk to Cooper?”
“Okay, Momma. I want pizza, so Matthew will want pizza because we love the same things, only I want cheese and no pepperoni. Matthew likes pepperoni, so we have to get some for Matthew. Do you like pepperoni, Mr. Cooper?”