“I think I was nine pounds when I was born.” Matthew starts talking while he flips through the magazine. “I think the twins were huge for twins.” He laughs while my mouth starts to get dry. “I think one was six pounds and the other was eight. They were abnormally large.” He drops the magazine, getting another one. “I really want the baby to have your eyes.” He looks over, smiling at me. “We should be doing a birthing plan. I read in the book the other day that it should be done and given to the hospital. Did you want to do this natural?”
I’m almost about to tell him how fucking dumb are you, do you think I want a human coming out of me with no drugs? What part is appealing to any of that? But the doctor comes in.
“Good afternoon,” she says. “Karrie, how are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling much better. The nausea and vomiting are fading out. Thankfully. I’m also feeling a lot less tired.” I try not to tell her and Matthew about how hard the last six weeks have been. The traveling has kicked my ass.
“So I see here you have lost ten pounds since you were last in. The vomiting may have to do with that. It’s important to start eating smaller meals during the day. It’s suggested that it is normal to gain between twenty-five to thirty-five pounds during the whole pregnancy.”
“Will the baby be okay if she doesn’t gain that weight?” Matthew asks while his hands go to his hips.
“It’s perfectly fine, depending on the child. It’s also normal for the mother to lose up to ten pounds in the first trimester due to vomiting.” She smiles at him.
“Have there been any more fainting spells since the hospital?” she asks, looking at my chart.
“Nope, nothing. It’s been all good.” I put my hands on my naked knees.
“Okay, so if you lie back, I will do an internal exam first and then we can get an ultrasound down.”
I lie back on the table.
“Matthew, get over here.” I motion him with my hand, waiting for him to walk to my head before putting my feet up in the stirrups that the doctor put up. “Don’t you dare look at what she is doing!” I tell him while the doctor continues to do her test.
“This might be cold,” she says while putting in the tools in order to do a pap smear. I close my eyes while this happens. Matthew starts to ask the doctor what exactly she’s doing. “It’s all normal at this stage that we get a pap smear.” She smiles at him, taking out the tool that looks like a duck and slipping off her gloves. “Now comes the part that everyone is waiting for. You ready to see your baby?” She smiles at both of us while Matthew takes my hand, kissing it.
This time she lifts my gown, covering me with a towel just stopping above my pelvic area. She picks up the white bottle from the side. “This might be cold for a bit,” she says, squeezing it on my stomach. The liquid coming out almost looks like hair gel.
“That’s cold,” I tell her while she turns on the machine, picking up something else that she holds down on the gel, spreading it around. The heartbeat fills the room. The galloping starts. I look at the screen, not sure what I’m going to see, but what I do has tears coming down my face. We have a baby, a baby who’s moving, almost doing cartwheels. The hands and feet are moving slowly. I love Matthew, I love my father, my family, my friends, but this love is so hard to explain. It’s an all-consuming love, a love that fills your heart to the brim, makes you want to go out there and sing in the rain, skip down the hallway for no reason. It’s a love that you know will never ever fade. Matthew has his own tears while he watches her move around on my stomach, starting to press more buttons.
“Do you feel the baby moving?” Matthew asks while the baby looks like he’s kicking me. I nod my head no.
I bring his hand to my lips, kissing him.
“So everything looks great. Your due date is July fourth. I’m going to want to see you in a month from now, unless there’s something that comes up before.” She presses a couple of buttons. Three pictures come out. She grabs the edge of my towel, wiping the gel off the machine pieces. She wipes my stomach with the same towel. “Get dressed and you can meet me in my office.”
I nod to her while she walks out.
Matthew is staring at the picture. “Holy shit, it’s real.” He rubs his fingers on the picture. “It’s the most beautiful baby in the world,” he tells the picture and looks at me. “I love you.” He kisses my lips.