“How desperate was I to have a family that I was willing to marry him?” I ask. “Seriously, every time I fall in love, I think it’s the real thing, and I’m always wrong.” But I still don’t think I was wrong about Ethan. It felt different. But I can’t deny I fell into the same old patterns. Always searching for love. Always willing to sacrifice anything to have a family.
“I’ll be single forever before I marry a guy who names his dick,” Teagan says. “Please hold me to that.”
My phone buzzes, and I look at it. Shay’s texting about some plans for this weekend and who’s getting Lilly when.
“You know what I miss about having your cell phone instead of mine?” Veronica asks when I put my phone down. “I miss the ego strokes. Getting random texts from all your adoring fans made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.”
I roll my eyes. “What do you mean, my adoring fans?”
“You know, all the people you’ve bent over backward for over the years. Everyone loves Nicole and her big heart.”
“Okay, Grinch,” Teagan says. “Can you blame them?”
“Of course not. It was legit nice to see what it was like. But I’m back to being me, and that’s kind of nice too.” She rubs her belly. “Not sure what I’m doing about this, though.”
“You’ll be fine,” I say. “We’ll find you a job and an apartment, and I’ll help with the baby as much as I can.”
“I’ll help too,” Teagan says. “You just can’t live here and cramp my style.”
Veronica’s eyes water. “I don’t deserve you two.”
“Those are the truest words that have ever passed your lips,” Teagan says.
I take my sister’s hand and squeeze. “Even the Grinch needs a family.”
“Let’s get that homework out, Lil,” I call from the kitchen. “We need to get it done if you want to watch the Christmas special at seven.”
“Okay,” she calls from upstairs. “I’m on my way.”
I dig through the pantry to find a snack. I find some crackers and grab the cheese from the fridge. Shay’s been staying here since I moved out, and she’s awesome, but not the cook or baker I am.
When Ethan first asked if I’d be willing to do afternoons at the house with Lilly, I agreed but wasn’t sure I wanted to. I mean, I definitely wanted to see Lilly, but I thought being in Ethan’s house might just be too hard. It turns out that girl makes even a little heartache totally worthwhile, and it’s been working. I’m grateful for that. It was bad enough to deal with my own broken heart; I didn’t want to be responsible for Lilly’s, too.
“I have to show you something so special,” Lilly says. She races into the kitchen.
“I thought we were doing homework?”
“We are, but first I want you to see . . .” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a necklace. “My beautiful necklace.” The chain has a silver charm that looks like a mother carrying a baby. “Isn’t it pretty?” she asks. “It was my mommy’s.”
“Yeah, baby. It’s gorgeous.”
“I have a whole box now of stuff that was Mommy’s.” She tugs on her scarf. “This was hers too. And the blanket on my bed. Daddy let me go through her stuff and choose what I wanted to keep. Since she isn’t here anymore, he’s donating the rest, but he wanted me to have some keepsakes first. This is one of them.”
“I’m so glad you have those things,” I tell her. And I truly am. My heart swells with love for Lilly and pride for the man I love. I know it wasn’t easy for him to take this step. “You treat them with care, okay?”
“I will. But Nicky, I need to ask you a favor before we do homework.”
I laugh. It’s always one more thing before homework. “What’s that?”
“Can you take me to the ice-skating rink at the lighthouse tomorrow night? Daddy usually takes me, but he has a date.”
I open my mouth to reply, but I can’t for a minute. It feels like someone has their fist in my gut. He has a date. And he’s finally getting rid of his wife’s things. “Of course I’ll take you, Lil.”
“Really? Oh, you’re gonna love it so much. They turn the street where cars drive into a skating rink, and they have music and there are Christmas lights. It’s really the best.”
“I can’t wait.” I mean it. I love my time with Lilly, and I love Jackson Harbor. Instead of accepting a job hundreds of miles away, I’ve put in applications at all the preschools in the area. This is where I want to stay.
I’m sure tomorrow night will be amazing, but right now, I’m trying to get around Ethan having a date and clearing out his wife’s things.