“Shut up,” I grumble, feeling like an idiot for not having put it together over a year ago as Tyson had so easily done. “How do I make it stop?”
“Stop?” she shrieks in horror. “Oh, honey. What are you talking about? You can’t make it stop. Why would you want that?”
“Because he hates me. What’s the point of being in love with someone who doesn’t want a damn thing to do with you?”
“Babe,” she sighs. “I don’t know what to tell you. You kind of fucked this one up in a big way.”
“Don’t remind me,” I tell her, clenching my eyes as I squish my face into my pillow. “Have you seen him? How is he?”
She lets out a heavy breath. “He’s not great, Bry. He’s hurting pretty deep. For the first week, he was just a bit…you know, MIA, and now, well…I think he’s trying to forget.”
My brows furrow and I find myself sitting up on the edge of my too-small bed, her comments sending me into a panic. “What do you mean ‘forget?’”
“He’s trying to forget how he feels. He goes to school and spends his afternoons with Nate in his shop, and the second they’re done for the day, he’s partying with the boys and drowning himself in alcohol. He’s doing his best to keep you off his mind.”
“So, what you mean is that he’s trying to forget me?”
“Bry,” she breathes though the truth is there. That’s exactly what he’s doing and the thought of Tyson not wanting a thing to do with me tears me apart.
“What am I going to do?” I cry.
“There’s nothing you can do,” she tells me softly. “You just need to leave him to do his own thing. He’s coping the best way he knows and having you trying to help him is only going to make things worse. I know it’s hard, but you need to give him the space he needs to move on.”
I hang my head, hating the sound of her words. “I don’t want him to move on,” I whisper.
“I love you, Bry, but you need to let it go. You can’t hold onto him if you’re not willing to be his girl. It’s not healthy for you and it’s certainly not fair to him. He deserves to be with someone who’s going to love him the same way that he does.”
“What if I do want to?”
“Want to what?”
“Love him.”
“Bry,” she sighs. “Come on, what are you saying? You’ve been all about Yale and keeping single for as long as I can remember. You’re not thinking straight. You’re hurting. You’ve been trying to think of ways to make it better, and telling him that you’ll make it work is the easy fix. You don’t really want that.”
“But I do,” I tell her. “It’s all I’ve been able to think about since he kissed my stupid head and walked away. I want to be with him, Court. Even if it means suffering through a long-distance relationship and flying back and forth to Broken Hill for a few years. I think we can do it…No, I know we can.”
“Are you sure?” she questions softly. “You’re not just trying to ease the pain?”
“Court, I’m sure. I want what we had back, but I want to be exclusive. I want the midnight phone calls and silly little texts. I want him showing up in the middle of the night just to kiss me and I want to be the one who makes him smile. I don’t just love him, Court, but I want to love him. I want to be his girl and I want to be able to call him my man because really, that’s exactly what he is to me. I need to make this right, Court. How could I have been so stupid?”
“Holy shit,” she says. “You’re serious. You’re going to be with Tyson.”
“That’s if I can even get him to talk to me. He doesn’t answer my texts so I doubt he’s going to answer the phone if I call. What am I supposed to do? I’m hours away from him. I have no hope of making this right.”
“I trust you, Brylee. If this is truly what you want, then I know you’ll make it happen. You’re the most determined and stubborn person that’s ever come out of Broken Hill, so if anyone can convince a guy to give her another chance, it’s you.”
“But how? I’m here and he’s all the way over there.”
“You do the one thing you can do,” she tells me, taking on her no-nonsense tone that has me feeling like a child about to be reprimanded by an angry mother. “You get your stubborn ass out of bed and wipe away your tears. You get your ass to the airport and get yourself home. It’s only 5 pm on a Friday afternoon, you’ll be here by tonight and I’ll be waiting at the airport to pick you up. I can guarantee that Tyson will be at whatever party the boys deem acceptable and you’re going to show up for him, not the other way around like it’s always been.” She takes a breath. “You pour your heart out and you beg him for forgiveness, you let him know that you’re in this and that he can rely on you to be there, and then, you hope to fucking God that he’s willing to be the one to give you a chance.”